Carolina Panthers and Denver Broncos: A+
It turns out the old adage that defense wins championships is still very much in fashion in 2016. The Panthers will enter the Super Bowl as Vegas favorites after stomping two very good offensive teams into that questionable Bank of America turf these last two weeks. They’ve been unimpeachable on both sides of the ball in the postseason and really all season long - it’s mind-boggling to think how close this team was to being 18 - 0 right now. With Cam Newton’s consistently MVP-worthy performances and a defense that has only ratcheted up its turnover-producing and QB-terrorizing ways in January, there’s no viable argument that the Panthers don’t deserve to be here. On the other side of the bracket, the Broncos defense is a black hole that negates the obvious flaws and gaps elsewhere on the roster. Although Denver hasn’t always looked pretty this season, that defensive masterpiece against the Patriots on Sunday was truly remarkable - the beginning and end of why the Broncos earned the #1 seed in the AFC and fought their way to an improbable second Super Bowl appearance in three years. There’ll be a whole on these guys next week, but for now, let’s just enjoy this moment of awe and evaluate how all of our playoff also-rans did as they turn to the offseason.
Arizona Cardinals: D
Going into the playoffs, I thought the Cardinals might be the best team in the NFL. They had an experienced quarterback riding the best season of his career, a deep, speedy pack of offensive skill players, a defense that was as good as any other in pressuring quarterbacks and taking the ball away and an aggressive coach who seemed to get the best out of his entire roster every week. That might still be mostly true on the basis of 18 games, but boy did Arizona pick the wrong time to slump badly. Over his past three games, Carson Palmer was downright abysmal with seven interceptions, three fumbles and six sacks. On the other side of the ball, Arizona’s defense also swooned in the worst imaginable way. After holding opponents to less than 20 points during the regular season, the Cards gave up a staggering 35 points per game over their final three games. Despite advancing to the NFC Championship, Arizona will mostly be remembered this postseason for allowing Aaron Rodgers to pull off two Hail Marys with a fourth-string receiver and for serving as the welcome mat for the Panthers' 49-point Super Bowl party. Larry Fitzgerald deserved better.
Cincinnati Bengals: D-
I've been debating about this grade. On the one hand, the Bengals nearly pulled off the upset with a young backup quarterback against the formidable Steelers. They were less than two minutes away from earning their first playoff win in over 25 years against a hated division rival in front of an eager Cincinnati home crowd. But being the Bungles, they handed their fans the Worst Playoff Collapse of All Time. It was an inconceivably bad way to lose a game - a fumble in the red zone and then two totally unnecessary personal fouls that led to a last-minute six point swing and another gut punch for a fanbase that already has to deal with Skyline Chili on a regular basis. For anyone who thought the Bengals postseason experience couldn't get any worse, give me all of those Andy Dalton implosions tenfold over this one.
Green Bay Packers: B
I don't think the Packers would have had a prayer of coming out on top against the Panthers, but boy did they do as well as a divisional round loser could have been expected to given their circumstances. After ending the regular season on a 4 - 6 win-loss slide and ceding the NFC North crown to the Vikings, Green Bay looked like a team with a rudderless offense and a frequently overmatched defense. After falling behind 0 - 11 early against the Redskinks, the Cheeseheads' worst fears seemed to be confirmed. But then the Packers found a way to rekindle their old mojo with Aaron Rodgers running an expert no-huddle offense and the defense shutting down Kirk Cousins to the tune of six sacks. Against the Cardinals who'd beaten them by 30 points just weeks earlier, Green Bay held their own despite having to go it without Randall Cobb and Davante Adams for most of the game. Starting from his own end zone with 90 seconds to go, Rodgers' two OT-clinching monster passes to Jeff Janis will be part of the NFL's highlight reel for a long time. It wasn't enough in the end, but this team still showed what it's capable of with lots of spare parts, and they'll be back here next year. One point of demerit: boo to Rodgers and Clay Matthews for being so whiny about the overtime rules. The Packers benefited more than the Cardinals by demanding that the coin be flipped again since it went Arizona's way the first time. There's no logical sense in Rodgers needing to call a different side since we've all known since second grade that the odds are always 50/50. And really, if you want to win an overtime game, maybe don't leave the other team's best receiver wide open for an 80-yard pass on the first play. #justsayin
Houston Texans: F
You remember the scoreboard in this one, right? Still, Brian Hoyer owes Carson Palmer a fruit basket for making a lot of people forget about the worst QB performance in the playoffs. Shame on the Texans for getting to bellyflop on national television while the New York Jets had to sit at home.
Kansas City Chiefs: C+
On the plus side, the Chiefs finally earned that elusive playoff win in resounding fashion with a road shutout over the Texans. They even had a chance after a lackluster start in Foxboro against the AFC's best offense. But between Andy Reid's inevitably terrible clock management and the evaporation of KC's pass rush, the Chiefs just didn't bring the kind of aggression needed to topple the Patriots. After watching the Broncos dismantle the Pats' passing attack this past Sunday, it makes you wonder how the Chiefs' postseason might have turned out if Justin Houston had been able to play more than a handful of snaps. It was too little too late for this AFC bridesmaid.
If you're balking at me giving this team a B-minus after going 0 - 1 in the playoffs, I totally understand where you're coming from. But like I said, this is about how each team played according to expectations, not how they all stacked up together in the power rankings. Nobody gave Minnesota much of a chance against the Seattle "Nobody Wants to Play Them Right Now" Seahawks - and to be fair, Seattle had routed them a few weeks earlier in Minnesota. The Vikings adjusted their strategy, played for field position and held Russell Wilson & co. scoreless for three quarters. If not for a badly shanked chip shot at the very end, they would have pulled off the biggest upset of the postseason. It wasn't meant to be, as is often the case for Minnesota, but this team played it 95% right to try to take down a formidable opponent. How 'bout a B-minus for a resounding moral victory?!
New England Patriots: B+
Getting Edelman and Gronk back at close to full strength, the Patriots looked like a shoe-in for a Super Bowl repeat and they played like it in quashing the Chiefs' 11-game win streak during the divisional round. All they had to do was beat the hobbling ghost of Peyton Manning at Mile High, but they seemed to forget about that #1 defense that would also be waiting with knives and brass knuckles in the alley. New England's offensive line was absolutely mauled, and Tom Brady was hit 20 times - more than any quarterback in any game this season or since 2006 for that matter. They had no answers for Demarcus Ware, Von Miller or Derek Wolfe. And yet remarkably, the Patriots still managed to get within two yards of overtime at the end of this game. Denver was the better team on Sunday, but New England's fight to the end was impressive in a different way. Whether you love 'em or hate 'em, the Pats still aren't going anywhere any time soon for a reason.
Pittsburgh Steelers: C
There was a pretty equally balanced yin and yang for the Steelers this postseason in a bad-looking win and a good-looking loss. In that case, a "C" sounds about right. It won't happen for totally understandable reasons, but they should really take Jeremy Hill and Pacman Jones out to dinner next time they're in town for gifting the Steelers that wild card win. (Vontaze can stay home though.) Pittsburgh would have been sent packing a lot earlier if it wasn't for the Bengals' complete self-destruction. But they gave a gutsy if futile performance the following week in Denver. Down to their third- and fourth-string running backs without Antonio Brown and with Ben Roethlisberger's banged up shoulder, the Steelers managed to keep pace with the Broncos a lot better than the Patriots would a week later. Like many also-rans on this list, Pittsburgh's exit came down to a couple bad plays - most notably Fitzgerald Toussaint's fumble in field goal range that led to a ten-point swing in the Broncos' favor. They never looked like their best selves in January with so many injuries to contend with, but the Steelers stayed in each game with the next man up as long as they could.
Seattle Seahawks: C-
After being a dominant force in the NFC for two and a half years, the Seahawks took a step back this season and it definitely showed in the playoffs. First, they struggled mightily against a Vikings team they had recently beaten by four touchdowns. Russell Wilson looked out of sorts for much of the afternoon, and Minnesota had this team dead to rights until they missed an easy field goal as time expired. Then they went to Carolina where the Panthers steamrolled them 31 - 0 in the first twenty minutes of the game. Once again, Wilson had a rough start and cost the Seahawks with a pick six on the first drive. The vaunted Legion of Boom was nowhere to be seen against the Panthers who were able to do whatever they wanted for the first half of the game. The Seahawks turned things around somewhat in the second half and got the game within a possession, but that's likely just because Carolina was playing prevent defense and keep away offense for a full 30 minutes. Given their recent success, I'm holding Seattle to a higher standard than most here, and they did not live up to [very high] expectations in either of their playoff games this time.
True story - I could not remember the twelfth team here for the longest time, which is probably a good clue to how I feel about the Redskinks' playoff performance. Like the Texans, the Redskinks benefited from being the last team standing in a very weak division, and they looked completely overmatched once they faced legitimate competition in the postseason. I have to give them a little credit for jumping out to a double-digit lead against the Packers, but they just couldn't adjust after Green Bay did. With Aaron Rodgers working at lightning speed, Washington's defense soon got winded, unable to get off the field or defend Eddie Lacy on the ground as the game wore on. Even worse, after having some of the best pass protection in the league during the regular season, the Redskinks' offensive line collapsed in the second half, giving Kirk Cousins virtually no time to get the ball downfield or pick sod out of his facemask. For this woeful franchise, I guess it's an honor just to be invited to the playoffs, but it doesn't make for compelling television by any stretch of the imagination.
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