Also, come back here tomorrow for my annual tradition of finding an NFL spirit animal for each of the college playoff teams!
Games That Matter: Ranked by Entertainment Value and Playoff Significance
Green Bay Packers (-3.5) at Detroit Lions - We've only got one head-to-head game for all the divisional marbles (and possible sole playoff spot) this week, so give it up for the Packers and Lions! Detroit has been an interesting team this year to say the least. Thanks to that shellacking at the hands of a Dallas team with nothing to play for on Monday, the Lions now have a negative point differential for the year despite a solid 9 - 6 record. When they've been on, they've been able to generate opportune turnovers and let Matts Stafford and Prater do the heavy lifting with those NFL-record eight fourth-quarter comebacks. But they've shown some cracks around the edges these past couple of weeks on both sides of the ball that have put them in this must-win situation. The Packers, of course, have trended in the opposite direction. After a 1 - 5 slide earlier this season, they've rattled off five straight wins and might just be the scariest team in the NFC now that their defense is healthy again. So I reckon that Green Bay is used to winning in high-pressure situations while the Lions have never quite gotten over that hump and seem primed to get their hearts broken in this regular season closer.
New York Giants at Washington Redskinks (-8) - If the Redskinks win, they are in so long as the Packers and Lions don't tie. The Giants will stay put either way, so NBD as the millenials say. Some New York footballers have said they plan to play to win this one, and I can imagine them wanting to end the regular season on a better note after an embarrassing outing in Philadelphia last week. Still, I'd guess Ben McAdoo would rather his starters be healthy and rested for an assuredly tough wild card game next weekend while Washington will be playing this one like a playoff game.
Kansas City Chiefs (-5.5) at San Diego Chargers - The Chiefs clinched a playoff spot last Sunday with a resounding win against the Broncos, and they've got a shot at the AFC West and a first-round bye if they win here and if Denver can handle the Raiders without MVP candidate Derek Carr at the helm. Even though Kansas City has played loads better than the Bolts this year, I'm not sure this is an easy out since it well could be the Chargers last game (for real this time) in San Diego. Nevertheless, the Chiefs have had the Chargers' number for a while now with five straight head-to-head wins and have everything to play for in this one. For the sake of those loyal and sloppy fans at Arrowhead, let's hope KC gets it done.
Oakland Raiders at Denver Broncos (-1.5) - They've never been a particular rooting interest of mine, but how can you not feel for the Raiders after that devastating injury to Derek Carr last week? I had visions of Tuck Rule Bowl 2.0 and an AFC Super Bowl team not helmed by a Manning, Brady or Roethlisberger for just the second time in twelve years. Now, we'll have to see how far they can go on the arm of Matt McGloin and my instincts say "not very." Denver may be out of playoff contention, but this defense is absolutely furious after getting no help from Trevor Siemian & co. and getting dunked on by Dontari Poe after a drubbing in Kansas City last week. I feel like the Broncos are going to go on a tear against this Oakland backup and get ready to reload in 2017.
New Orleans Saints at Atlanta Falcons (-6.5) - Oh, my kingdom for a Saints win here. If they can draw Atlanta into a shootout, they've always got a shot with Drew Brees under center. But the Falcons suddenly find themselves in the catbird seat for a first-round bye after the Seahawks lost to the Cardinals last week, and they've had a terrifyingly good offense. My hands are tied - I have to jinx this one to the best of my abilities in hopes that it leads to Atlanta getting their playoff hopes crushed by the Packers immediately and Matt Ryan losing out on MVP honors. Sometimes others' misery is the best victory available (if you're petty).
New England Patriots (-9.5) at Miami Dolphins - At a glance, this game doesn't seem like much, but there are stakes for both teams here, especially with the noon kickoff. If the Patriots win, they lock up the #1 seed in the AFC regardless of whether or not the Raiders win later in the day. The Dolphins have to win and then root for the Chargers to beat the Chiefs in order to move up to the fifth seed. It's not much, but it could put another week between the Fins and a trip back to Foxborough in January if the chips fall well in the wild card round. I'm guessing Bill Belichick isn't going to leave that top seed to chance though - gotta go Pats here.
Seattle Seahawks (-9.5) at San Francisco 49ers - Per the above, the Seahawks need help from the Saints to have a chance at a first-round bye and some significant homefield advantages this January. So this game matters, but Seattle should have absolutely no problem against the hapless 49ers. That's pretty much the extent of the analysis I have for you - you're welcome!
Carolina Panthers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-6) - For the record, here's everything that has to go right for the Buccaneers to get to the playoffs after they lost to the freakin' Saints last Saturday. The odds are so slim in fact, you won't be seeing Cameron Brate, Charles Sims or Doug Martin suiting up. So I guess maybe the Panthers will win this one for pride? Perhaps?
Games That Don’t Matter: Watch Them if You Must, But Mark Your Calendars for Draft Day
Baltimore Ravens at Cincinnati Bengals (-2.5) - As a vicarious Ravens supporter, I gotta say that last-second loss to the Steelers on Sunday was really tough to swallow. Now we end things here between two rivals with nothing to play for but bragging rights. I guess since Cincy is way more banged up on offense and Baltimore has a great under-the-radar defense, the Ravens save a little face with this Week 17 whimperer.
Houston Texans at Tennessee Titans (-3) - There isn't a game on this docket that took more of a nosedive in intrigue than this one after last week. It could have been a winner-takes-all for the division and a ticket to the playoffs, but then the Titans whiffed against the Jaguars last week and Marcus Mariota was lost for the season. I reckon the Texans would like for Tom Savage to get some practice reps for next week's wild card game though, so I suspect Houston will be playing this one for keeps.
Jacksonville Jaguars at Indianapolis Colts (-4.5) - This might be a curtain call for Chuck Pagano and/or a revenge game for the Colts after that brutal loss to the Jaguars earlier this season in London. Had they won that one, they could be playing for something this week, but nah.
Chicago Bears at Minnesota Vikings (-5) - So the Vikings officially Falcon'ed on us this season after doing a great imitation of the 2015 Broncos for the first few weeks. Maybe they'll do something nice for the home crowd they've treated so miserably for the past several years and beat Matt Barkley & co. at home.
Buffalo Bills (-3.5) at New York Jets - Poor Todd Bowles. I feel a lot sorrier for him than for the currently unemployed Rex Ryan, but there's no denying how bad the Jets are this year. This might just be the worst game on the docket - one coach already fired, one about to be, E.J. Manuel starting for the Bills, Ryan Fitzpatrick for the Jets. I guess I think there's a little Fitzmagic left in the tank for one last win for Bowles and hopefully a shot for him to try this coaching thing again with a less toxic locker room.
Dallas Cowboys at Philadelphia Eagles (-4) - Note to Jason Garrett: Please, please, please take a page from the Titans and Raiders and rest your dang starters this week. The Cowboys have nothing to play for, and the Eagles play a hard, physical style of defense, especially at home. Here's to hoping we see a lot of Mark Sanchez and some New Year's cheer for that hungover home crowd in Philly.
Cleveland Browns at Pittsburgh Steelers (-6) - The Steelers are likely resting their big three this week, so it's quite possible that the Browns will be able to double their win total on Sunday. But I still think Landry Jones and DeAngelo Williams can get some stuff done against the hapless Browns, so I'm going Steelers anyway.
Arizona Cardinals (-6) at Los Angeles Rams - Rams bad. Cardinals
Lovely Lady Locks
Based on my perfectly pedestrian 27 - 24 record last year, I think Kenny Rodgers would tell me to fold 'em in repeating this Lovely Lady Locks spread picks feature. But I'm playing with Monopoly money, so I'm going to do it again! Buyer beware. For Week 17, my Lovely Lady Locks are:- Giants +8 over Redskinks
- Seahawks -9.5 over 49ers
- Cardinals -6 over Rams
So How's My Pickin'?
Straight Up Record: 145 - 93 - 2
Against the Spread: 27 - 21
No comments:
Post a Comment