The "No More" Means "Not Really" Award: Jerry Jones
I should preface this by saying that the photos and police files released by Deadspin last week don't really tell us anything new about Greg Hardy. He was already found guilty of domestic assault in a court of law and has done nothing since that time to refute that he's a garbage human being. The Dallas Cowboys knew all of this when they signed him to a one-year deal this season, and they've spun all kinds of doublespeak about Hardy's leadership abilities and chance at redemption-- because having your record expunged for paying off the victim and getting paid to sit out last season clearly weren't enough. The only thing that you might find surprising about all of this is that it's not surprising at all. Athletically, Hardy is still in his prime and fills a simple need for a team that is thin at defensive line. That's the only calculus Jerry Jones needs to keep him on the payroll and say "so what?" with a straight face. So for all of the NFL's barking about "No More" and real accountability on issues of domestic violence, there is no bite for one of the most powerful owners in the business. Most tellingly, the Cowboys staff spent their energies getting Hardy a getaway car after Sunday night's game rather than preparing him to answer to the public. They know there's no intellectually honest way to address his presence on the team without also acknowledging their implicit support of an abuser without remorse, plain and simple.
The Preemptive Dolphins Cautionary Tale Award: Mike Mularkey, Blaine Gabbert (tie)
There were some pretty decent upsets this weekend coming from the Colts, Titans and 49ers. One highly reductive thing they all had in common? A big change under center or under the headset going into this week. After a very underwhelming start to the season, Indianapolis ousted offensive coordinator Pep Hamilton in favor of Rob Chudzinski. The Titans fired head coach Ken Whisenhunt and put OC Mike Mularkey in charge in the interim. And perhaps most surprisingly, the 49ers benched QB Colin Kaepernick--who was an errant pass away from a second Super Bowl appearance just two years ago--for Blaine Gabbert, who had a 5 - 22 career record before stunning the Falcons on Sunday. We’ll only know whether this was a legitimate turning point for any of these teams after the regular season’s over, but there’s always the temptation to put a little too much stock in an unexpected win after a big change. Just ask Dolphins interim coach Dan Campbell - after Miami mowed down the lowly Titans and Texans with ease, there were four glorious days of playoff talk before this team feel swiftly back to earth in Foxboro and kept on plummeting in Buffalo. So who’s showing true signs of life and who’s getting a fleeting bump of novelty? I like Indy’s chances best. Dismantling the league’s best defense on Sunday was a huge shot in the arm, and Rob Chudzinski has worked small offensive miracles before in Carolina and Cleveland. But beware of the Titans’ and 49ers’ change in fortunes. Mike Mularkey’s debut coincided with the Titans playing the league’s very worst defense and getting Marcus Mariota back from injury. The 49ers’ win had as much to do with the Falcons making a terrible decision to kick a field goal trailing by four late in the game as it did with Blaine Gabbert not totally screwing up. The guy only had 185 yards and 15 completions on the day anyhow. So consider this hot take… extinguished. Yyyyyeeeaaaggghhh!
The Crown of Smugness Award: Carolina Panthers
Okay, okay - I also bestowed this award so that I could gloat about getting the Panthers-Packers game right this past weekend. It hasn’t been the best season for my picks, so I’ll take the small wins where I can get ‘em! But the Panthers are absolutely for real, and they should have walked out of that locker room with crowns of smugness aglow after another big win against the NFC’s top brass this past weekend. Carolina is one of only three undefeated teams left halfway through the season, and this resume is far more impressive than the Pats or the Bengals. In consecutive weeks, they’ve beaten four legitimate playoff contenders including Seattle on the road, the Colts in overtime and the Packers, who looked way worse on Sunday than the final score suggested. Despite having a highly questionable offensive line and receiving corps going into the season, Cam Newton has put this team on his back with ease to match Ron Rivera’s ultra-dependable defense. They’re well-rounded, endlessly tenacious and right now, they aren’t scared of playing anyone. Super Bowl XXXVIII rematch, anyone? This time with fewer numerals, plz!
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