NFL Week 9 Picks

What time is it?  Picks time!

Top Shelf Games: Talent-rich, highly competitive and aged in oak barrels... spiritually speaking

Green Bay Packers (-2.5) at Carolina Panthers - Two NFC playoff shoe-ins are duking it out in our Lady Blitz Game of the Week!  I've made at least one unpopular pick that has come back to bite me each week recently from 49ers over Seahawks to the Titans over just about anybody.  But given the Packers' struggles to find playmakers and how disrespected the Panthers must be feeling right now as undefeated home underdogs, I think Carolina has a real chance to stay undefeated this week.  Why not?

St. Louis Rams at Minnesota Vikings (-2.5) - Remember this game well when the wild card picture comes into focus.  These two teams both have a chance to do more than go golfing in January, but every week matters at this point.  And we might have ourselves some real trench warfare between Adrian Peterson and Todd Gurley.  My gut says as clutch as the Vikings have been with their 5 - 2 start, their meager offense could struggle mightily against that ferocious Rams defensive line.

Denver Broncos (-5) at Indianapolis Colts - In actuality, this game is probably going to flop given the way Denver's defense has soared and Indy's offense has gotten stuck in a bottomless vat of molasses until the middle of the fourth quarter.  But after being bested by the Colts during their past two meetings, I'm guessing Peyton Manning will have the upper hand this time, and he's really going to enjoy it.  On a related note, Jim Irsay's been awful quiet lately, eh?

Well Drink Games: They may surprise you from time to time without all the high expectations

Oakland Raiders at Pittsburgh Steelers (-4.5) - If the surprisingly good Raiders have an Achilles heel, it is their pass defense.  That could spell bad news when they arrive in Pittsburgh since Big Ben will have to air it out early and often with Le'Veon Bell out for the season.  Of course, De'Angelo Williams is no slouch to back up the Steelers backfield, and their defense is starting to come together. 

Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills (-3) - After showing signs of life in recent weeks, the Dolphins ran into a buzz saw in New England last week.  It turns out, blowing out the Titans and Texans does not a true turnaround make.  I still think this will be a closer game than when these teams last met in Week 3, but with Tyrod Taylor back under center for the Bills and Cameron Wake out for the year for the Dolphins, Buffalo should still have the edge.

Washington Redskinks at New England Patriots (-14) - And so, the Redskinks will be the next team to run into the Foxboro buzz saw this weekend.  I'm really going to enjoy this, especially if we get some visuals of Dan Snyder rolling down a Mission Accomplished banner in the guest box suite.

New York Giants (-2.5) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers - This could be a real comedy of errors.  Will the Giants be totally deflated after putting up 49 points and still taking a loss last week?  Will the Buccaneers regress back to the mean after having to go to overtime with a +4 turnover advantage over the Falcons?  It points to some crazy bush-league plays primed for this week's C'mon Man reel.  Anyway, I guess I like the Giants barely for whatever reason.

Philadelphia Eagles (-2.5) at Dallas Cowboys - Somehow, I'm still waiting for that Chip Kelly magic to set in this season.  Maybe the bye week has done the constant tinkerer some good while Dallas continues to count the days until Tony Romo's return.  Byron Maxwell on Dez Bryant spells trouble, but Dez will still have to try to catch passes from Matt Cassel.  That could spell catastrophe.

House Punch Games: Most likely to be lop-sided, sloppy and/or otherwise painful to digest

Cleveland Browns at Cincinnati Bengals (-11) - Seeing as how I lost Arian Foster, Keenan Allen and Joseph Randle on my fantasy team in a week's time, I'm really hoping Jeremy Hill feasts on Cleveland's run defense tonight.  #carryingforthree

Jacksonville Jaguars at New York Jets (-6.5) - After a brief hand injury scare, Fitzmagic returns to the Meadowlands on Sunday!  That good news for the Jets and bad news for the Jags, who could really use a matchup with Geno Smith to get closer to 0.500.

Tennessee Titans at New Orleans Saints (-8) - Despite what it looks like for the Saints right now, we haven't entered a wormhole that has taken us back to 2009 - 2011.  Drew Brees has been playing out of his mind in recent weeks, and it's been just enough to overcome a genuinely terrible defense.  That defense should catch a break against one of the worst offensive lines in the league though, assuming Marcus Mariota doesn't suddenly decide to have one of those breakout rookie games the Saints frequently allows.

Atlanta Falcons (-7) at San Francisco 49ers - If you listen very closely, you can hear the people of San Francisco asking when pitchers and catchers day is for the Giants...  Or buying Amari Cooper jerseys.  Did I mention Blaine Gabbert is starting over Colin Kaepernick this week?

Chicago Bears at San Diego Chargers (-4) - This week's Snake-bit Bowl features the Bears and Chargers.  Both have had a knack for losing (and sometimes winning but mostly losing) games by one possession.  I hate that Keenan Allen is out for the year - he's been the centerpiece of Philip Rivers' passing attack.  But there's always Malcom Floyd, Stevie Johnson, Antonio Gates and Danny Woodhead - not too shabby!

Lovely Lady Locks 

I’m trying my hand at three points-based picks every week that I think are locks. I hope to count my Monopoly money by the end of the season and will keep you posted along with my overall picks record.  But really, I think we've just learned that gambling is a bad thing. For Week 9, my Lovely Lady Locks are:

• Rams +2.5 over Vikings
• Broncos -5 over Colts
• Eagles -2.5 over Cowboys

So How's My Pickin'?
Straight Up Record: 78 - 41
Against the Spread: 10 - 14