Seattle Seahawks and New England Patriots: A-
That’s right, for the first time in Lady Blitz history, I’m going to be just a little bit tough on the two teams advancing to the Super Bowl. They had dominant performances against the Panthers and Colts in their respective conferences, but they needed divine intervention (and some bad late-game decisions from their opponents) to get past the Packers and Ravens, respectively. In the end, we got spectacular comebacks from both teams, which means they are battle-tested and probably believing in themselves more than they ever have - and that’s good Super Bowl entertainment to me! But whether your grudge is steroid use or deflated footballs, these two teams aren’t looking so upstanding or flawless going into the big game, so I’ll dock them a half point in solidarity with whatever non-punishment the NFL will dole out several weeks from now.
Arizona Cardinals: D-
I’m not sure I’ve seen an objectively worse playoffs performance than the Cardinals put on in Charlotte for Wild Card weekend, but I can’t quite fail them considering that they somehow managed to score two touchdowns anyway with fourth-stringer Ryan Lindley leading the way. Arizona started the year off red hot at 11 - 1 and then proceeded to lose Carson Palmer, Drew Stanton, Andre Ellington and even more of its “Next Man Up” defense to injury. The carnage was such that it was unrealistic to expect a Cardinals win, even against a sub-0.500 Panthers team. But they clearly ran out of next men in Carolina, and Coach Bruce Arians left his kitchen-sink risk taking at home even when Arizona had nothing to lose.
Baltimore Ravens: B
The Ravens added to their Playoff Peak mystique this season with a stunning upset over the rival Steelers and a near-upset against the Patriots at Foxboro after barely sneaking into January in the first place. The return of Haloti Ngata made Baltimore’s front lines a force to be reckoned with and, for six quarters anyway, plenty of compensation for a shaky secondary. For those same six quarters, Joe Flacco looked ascendent in the passing game and got a great deal of balance from “Ray Rice who?” RB Justin Forsett and a reshuffled offensive line. Yet despite building a 14-point lead against the Patriots in the third quarter, the Ravens just couldn’t close the deal after some costly picks from Flacco and Tom Brady’s eventual dissection of Baltimore’s secondary. On the whole, the Ravens did better than most people expected, but those late stalls on offense cost them big when Brady finally realized he was on a mission from God.
Carolina Panthers: B-
Like the Cardinals above, the Panthers fell victim in some ways to roster vulnerabilities that we knew would catch up to them sooner or later. Still, they did roughly what was expected - beat a reeling Arizona team soundly and beat themselves soundly in Seattle with the help of a very opportunistic Legion of Boom. The Panthers gave the Seahawks a lot more of a fight than I thought they would, due in large part to a solid running game from Jonathan Stewart and a very stingy defense. But Cam Newton continued his inaccurate back-footed ways, and Carolina ultimately mounted too many turnovers to keep the game in reach when it mattered most. It wasn’t a memorable postseason, but I think Panthers fans can rest easy knowing that this team did better than any other NFC South team would have done in the same situation.
Sigh. Another great regular season, another total implosion in the playoffs for the Bengals. I really have nothing new to say, so let's just copy/paste some of our greatest hits from the past two years of this segment:
- [2013] - Despite ending the regular season with a great string of games, the
Bengals regressed back into their bad habits in their only outing in
HoustonIndianapolis. Cincy's best strength, its pass rush, got very little muscle... Andy Dalton's offense, on the other hand, was stifled from start to finish with a particularly poor long passing game... What a waste of a playoff spot from a team that should've been better. - [2014] - In some sense, this could have easily been an F, but there’s no sense in
punishing the rest of the Bengals for Andy Dalton’s second half
collapse against the
ChargersColts. Despite the Bengals looking more balanced and confident than they have since their glory days, they found yet another way to lose.
Much against my natural inclinations, I found myself kind of liking this Cowboys team, at least enough for them to get another shot against the Seahawks this past weekend. That didn’t happen of course, and some fans are understandably still wringing their hands at the Gordian Knot that is the NFLs definition of a catch. But Dallas put up a heckuva fight from the first whistle to the last with a vindicating comeback win for Tony Romo and Jason Garrett against the Lions and a moral victory against presumptive MVP Aaron Rodgers at Lambeau. What got them in the end wasn’t merely a bad call, but also a worn down defense still much improved from its historically bad 2013 roster but simply unable to contain Rodgers and Lavonte Adams in the second half. Nevertheless, if 11 out of 12 playoff teams are guaranteed heartbreak by February, few can say they went down fighting like the Cowboys, who looked improved at every position on their roster this year despite many a skeptic (like me) predicting otherwise.
Denver Broncos: D+
I wouldn’t argue too much with you if you thought this grade was unfair given the severity of Peyton Manning’s quad injury. But to that I say, did you notice how the New England Patriots beat the Colts to a bloody pulp on the ground a week later? It’d be one thing if the Broncos had, say, Trent Richardson carrying the rock, but Denver came into the game with backup superstar C.J. Anderson and proceeded to do virtually nothing about it. This is pure speculation on my part, but it makes you wonder whether the Broncos’ lack of adaptability on the offensive front took OC Adam Gase out of contention for some high-profile head coaching positions. The Broncos whiffed on defense too with Aqib Talib & co. letting T.Y. Hilton go to work in the open field with no pass rush to speak of. I’d say better luck next year, but with Manning looking just about done and Denver trading down John Fox for Gary Kubiak, consider this Super Bowl window slammed shut.
Oh Detroit. For a minute there it looked like you were finally going to bless your miserable fanbase with your second playoff win in the past 50 years, going up 13 points on the road against a very tough Cowboys team. The Lions came out swinging with another stellar defensive performance against DeMarco Murray and some big plays from Matt Stafford & friends to build an early lead. Undeniably, they got shafted on a reversed interference call that could have helped them maintain a lead in the final minutes of the fourth quarter, but they also did plenty to beat themselves once frustration over the call boiled over. That included not going for it on 4th-and-1 in the No Man’s Land of Cowboys territory, leaving Jason Witten wide open to let Tony Romo convert a big fourth down, and fumbling the ball twice on the game’s final drive to eliminate any chance of a comeback. After a surprisingly good 11 - 5 season of comebacks and clutch plays, Detroit reverted to its choking ways at the worst possible time, and Matt Stafford extended his record on the road against winning teams to a ghastly 0 - 18.
Green Bay Packers: B
I’m still a little flabbergasted vicariously for Packers fans after Sunday, certainly to the point that their stunning loss in Seattle was much more depressing than the Seahawks’ comeback win was exhilarating. They did so much right on the whole this postseason: finding a workable offensive approach with Aaron Rodgers slinging it in the pistol and Eddie Lacy getting work done on the ground, generating big-time turnovers against DeMarco Murray and Russell Wilson, getting to Wilson and Tony Romo consistently in the pass rush. And then they did so much wrong in those final five minutes in Seattle, even after intercepting Wilson for the fourth time, that it’s still hard to believe it's even physically possible to meltdown so swiftly and completely. Morgan Burnett slid instead of returning Wilson's interception despite having a great shot at getting into scoring range. Green Bay decided to run it up the gut for a loss of four yards for the next three plays. The defense allowed the Seahawks to complete a 70-yard touchdown drive in under two minutes. Brandon Bostick bumbled the Packers out of an onside kick recovery. The Packers allowed Seattle to score in the blink of an eye again and let Wilson convert a 2-point play that can only be described as a desperation Hail Mary. And then the earlier mistakes - Mike McCarthy's ridiculously conservative calls to kick field goals at the goal line and blown coverage on a Seahawks trick play all came into sharp focus. When you pile it all up, you can't really say the Packers "deserved" to win this one, but what was lost in an epic collapse is that they almost pulled off one of the biggest upsets of the season handily.
Indianapolis Colts: B-
Many people have pointed out that the Colts are making progress in the playoffs. Since Andrew Luck arrived, they've made it to a deeper round each postseason and could be a popular Super Bowl favorite going into 2016 for that reason alone. They had two solid wins this time around, holding both the Bengals and Broncos to fewer than two touchdowns, letting Andrew Luck go wild and getting pretty good balance out of their running game absent Trent Richardson. But you could make an argument that those wins weren't as impressive as they might have looked on the stat sheet since the Bengals continued their woeful January ways and the Broncos never had a chance without a healthy Peyton Manning. It's hard to remember now that Denver was a heavy favorite when the Colts visited, and they deserve credit for setting the tone from the get-go. But based on how Indy folded against the Patriots yet again, I think they lucked out schedule-wise more than we might have realized before this past weekend. You can blame the Patriots' tampering all you want, but you'd be hard pressed to argue that deflated footballs alone caused the Colts to lose by nearly 40 points, especially since the Pats ran the ball down their throats just like they've done for the past two years. Chuck Pagano needs to put his defensive mind to work and make better adjustments going forward to get to the big dance, 'nuff said.
Remember how the Steelers were in the playoffs this year? Me neither. Their Wild Card game against the rival Ravens was closer than the final score would suggest, but they were simply overpowered and outcoached by the time the dust settled. It's fair to say Pittsburgh really missed Le'Veon Bell on offense; Ben Roethlisberger attempted nearly 50 passes and was under constant duress from Terrell Suggs and Haloti Ngata all night. On defense, the Steelers just couldn't do much against the tandem deep threats of Steve Smith and Torrey Smith despite keeping Justin Forsett to less than three yards a carry. So it's hard to find a bright spot for this team from this outing, but I give them minor style points for giving themselves a chance in the fourth quarter and trying to shred the Ravens' secondary in Bell's absence.
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