Week 3 Picks for Every NFL Game

After two weeks of big-hype games, we're starting to cool off for a bit with the slate of games this weekend.  In fact, there are no 2 - 0 teams facing each other and only two divisional match ups, but you know that won't stop me from spending a gorgeous Sunday indoors.  Also destined to cool off is my picks record since I eked out a blistering 14 - 2 (88%) last weekend in no small part thanks to Drew Brees/the Buccaneers, Jay Cutler and E.J. Manuel.  The last time I missed just two games, I crashed back to a pitiful 5 - 9 the subsequent week, so I have a slight mute on my own horn.  Nevertheless, with an inappropriate level of confidence, here are my Week 3 picks:

Top Shelf Games: Talent-rich, highly competitive and aged in oak barrels... spiritually speaking

Kansas City Chiefs at Philadelphia Eagles (-3) - Per the scheduling mediocrity I mentioned above, there's no true Lady Blitz Game of the Week this time around.  Nevertheless, the wildly different playing styles and relative early success of the Chiefs and Eagles should make for an interesting game.  Did you hear Andy Reid will be back in Philadelphia? Wearing a shade of red that might return Eagles fans to their old Santa-hating ways?  I hope the Chiefs slog it out at the line of scrimmage with an excellent defensive front, but I just can't see Alex Smith engineering a comeback the way Robert Griffin and Philip Rivers tried to/did with this kind of bang-bang Philly offense.

Houston Texans (-2.5) at Baltimore Ravens - If Baltimore breaks through this season with the new roster, this game could be that starting place.  I have a feeling it'll be ugly either way as both of these teams have looked a little less than polished so far, but Houston has the edge until Joe Flacco rediscovers that playoff aerial magic again.

Green Bay Packers (-2) at Cincinnati Bengals - Even though these teams are at 0.500, there are many reasons to feel optimistic this season if you're a Packers or Bengals fan.  The Packers' offensive line may be reason for concern since Aaron Rodgers has already been sacked 6 times this year, but the formidable Bengals pass rush wasn't too formidable against the notorious lines of the Bears and Steelers in previous weeks.  Thus, I expect No. 12 to have another big game in Cincy and get Green Bay back on the winning side for the remainder of the season.

Atlanta Falcons at Miami Dolphins (-2.5) - Don't look now but Miami is one of 8 yet-undefeated teams this year.  You can Google plenty of '72 Dolphins jokes now if you want to.  That means the fair-weather fans will be out in full force at Sun Life Stadium to cheer on the not-Marlins while LeBron is on vacation, but I think it ends when Matt Ryan comes to town.  This one is still well within reach for the Dolphins if they can get ample pressure on Ryan while the pocket is shaky, but they haven't played a team this good yet during their "streak."

Indianapolis Colts at San Francisco 49ers (-10) - This should really be a Well Drink kind of game, but like I said, it's slim pickins' this week.  I am eager to see how Andrew Luck--and, what's that? Trent Richardson?!--do against a punishing defense away from home and even more eager to see how Colin Kaepernick responds after his worst professional outing to date in Seattle last week.  But when it comes to this half of the Gang of Four, Kaepernick has the edge and a better supporting cast at home to get back on track.

Well Drink Games: They may surprise you from time to time without all the high expectations

San Diego Chargers at Tennessee Titans (-3) - I'm a little smitten with the Chargers' offensive productivity right now, even if it is just two weeks into the season.  The Titans defense has also been flying under the radar and much improved so far from last year.  I imagine one or both of those statements might not hold up by the time December rolls around, but I do think Philip Rivers will ultimately out-duel Jake Locker despite another early kickoff for San Diego.

St. Louis Rams at Dallas Cowboys (-3.5) - Per my anxiety that I won't be able to scratch the surface of 14 - 2 again this season, this game really could go either way in my opinion.  The Rams have the kind of defensive muscle to get to Tony Romo fairly easily, and that usually doesn't end well.  On the other hand, Dallas has the offensive chops to keep this one out of St. Louis' reach, and should Romo wake up on the right side of the bed that day, the Cowboys are the more talented team.

Arizona Cardinals at New Orleans Saints (-7.5) - This game is more attainable for the Cardinals than most people think.  The Saints offense has sputtered through two weeks of thin victories, and Drew Brees is in the middle of one of those streaks of mind-numbing picks.  Arizona has been able to hang with middle-of-the-pack teams through opportunistic defense and a more competent offense than in recent years, so we'll find out if the Saints are just that.  I still like 'em at home for an early game though.

Detroit Lions at Washington Redskins (-2) - Not to be dramatic, but this is a statement game for Washington as I see it.  Although the first two weeks looked awful for last year's non-Colts Cinderella story, at least the defense should have a better handle on Detroit than it did on Aaron Rodgers or the big Eagles offense reveal.  Robert Griffin, on the other hand, doesn't look ready for prime time, and I don't expect the Lions to be forgiving there.

Buffalo Bills at New York Jets (-2.5) - Who would've thought this could be a moderately anticipated game back in August when Kevin Kolb and Mark Sanchez were still a thing?  It may not be the most perfectly executed or high-scoring affair, but one of these teams will lead their miserable fanbases on for another week when the dust settles.  I'm betting on the more well-rounded Bills.

House Punch Games: Most likely to be lop-sided, sloppy and/or otherwise painful to digest

Cleveland Browns at Minnesota Vikings (-6) - Trent Richardson vs. Adrian Peterson would have been an intriguing byline to this game, but now that Cleveland has clearly already given up on another season after just two. freaking. games., it's time for Minnesota to get the W that has alluded them most painfully for the first two weeks.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at New England Patriots (-7) - Hoo boy, this could be ugly given these two teams' vastly underwhelming performances to date this season.  Or, it could be confidence-building redemption for one team and yet another reason to fire Greg Schiano for the other.

New York Giants at Carolina Panthers (-1) - Who the heck knows what to do with this game?  Both of these teams are bursting with wasted potential up to this point, and there's hardly any way to know who will want it less on Sunday.  Carolina's secondary has become a liability, so I expect Eli to air it out from time to time to avoid the fumbling woes of the Giants' first two weeks.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Seattle Seahawks (-19.5) - Holy point spread, Pete Carroll!

Chicago Bears (-2.5) at Pittsburgh Steelers - Oh gambling Steelers fans of America, how you drag the point spread down to hilarious levels.  I know it's at Heinz Field and all, but the Bears should have a field day with this anemic Pittsburgh offense in prime time... while the rest of us tune into Breaking Bad.

Oakland Raiders at Denver Broncos (-15) - After our Sunday night beatdown, we will conclude Week 3 with a Monday night beatdown so that you can watch the Talking Dead follow up that you DVRed instead of waiting it out through Low Winter Sun the previous night.



So How's My Pickin'?
Last Week's Record: 14 - 2
Season Record: 25 - 7