NFL Week 3 Picks

Pay no attention to those Week 2 picks behind the curtain! I'm just warming up! My offensive line sucks! I can't take back that miserable 6 - 10 plummet after such a great 13 - 3 season debut, but it's a new dawn, it's a new week and I'm feelin' good.  At least I'm not alone.  Anyway, here are your Lady Blitz Week 3 NFL Picks!

Top Shelf Games: Talent-rich, highly competitive and aged in oak barrels... spiritually speaking

Kansas City Chiefs at Green Bay Packers (-6.5) - Another prime time game in Green Bay, another chance for you to follow @PGDougSchneider on Twitter. He's a local beat writer who live-tweets everything that goes over the police scanner at Lambeau Field, and let me tell you, those lake people cannot hold their liquor.  Anyway, this clash of playoff hopefuls gets Lady Blitz Game of the Week honors this time around.  With the Legion of Boom continuing to look a bit disheveled last week, the Chiefs might well be the best defense Aaron Rodgers & co. will face so far this season.  Still, if this comes down to a big downfield passing play in the fourth quarter, give me Rodgers any day over Alex Smith.

Cincinnati Bengals at Baltimore Ravens (-2.5) - Not to get all dramatic but it's do or die time for the Ravens.  They've lost two heartbreakingly close games on the road and now have to host a white-hot divisional rival.  Baltimore has often been its best self with its back against the wall, but I wouldn't bet a dime on this game if I were you.  The Ravens are typically very good at home but did not look like themselves against the Raiders last week.  Cincy on the other hand is back to steamrolling everyone in the first half of the season, so I've got to go Bengals with a solid offensive roster and Geno Atkins back at full strength.

Atlanta Falcons (-2) at Dallas Cowboys - This may not be much of a game despite what Jerry Jones wants to believe about Brandon Weeden, but it's worth a shot between these two 2 - 0 teams with solid talent and reasons for optimism this season.  Of course, the fact that the Cowboys just picked up Matt Cassel is pretty telling about their real feelings on Weeden.  If Romo and Dez were around, I'd probably go Dallas at home but I feel pretty confident that Atlanta will continue its hot streak against the NFC East on Sunday.

Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins (-3) - What to think of the Dolphins so far this season?  They squeaked by the Redskinks who might be better than we think, and then they whiffed majorly against the Jaguars.  The Jaguars!  I rarely get things right for this team (or for the Bills for that matter), so I'm pretty sure the Dolphins will win because I'm going Buffalo.  If there's hope for Miami, it's that the Patriots gave them a blueprint for exploiting the Bills' formidable defense last week.  But I don't trust a 'Fins defense that has given up over 700 yards in its first two games - though it feels weird to say, Tyrod Taylor might just be able to win a shootout.

Well Drink Games: They may surprise you from time to time without all the high expectations

Washington Redskinks at New York Giants (-3.5) - There’s a Mark Twain saying that a cat who walks on a hot stove once will never walk on it again whether the stove is on or not. What does that have to do with this game? Well, the last time the Kirk Cousins-led Redskinks played the Giants on Thursday Night Football, I predicted:

• It seems safe to assume [Eli Manning is] going to be back to his old incompetent antics in DC tonight. ...Kirk Cousins walks in as the more reliable quarterback.

Cousins promptly turned the ball over five times and Washington lost by 31 points. So despite the Redskinks’ unexepectedly dynamite performance last week and the Giants’ consecutive fourth-quarter whiffs, I will forever go New York in this scenario.

Pittsburgh Steelers (-1) at St. Louis Rams - Rejoice, Steelers fans!  The Ravens are already two games back and you get Le'Veon Bell back this week.  This week certainly won't be a cakewalk though - Aaron Donald would love to crash Bell's reunion and Pittsburgh spotty offensive line while he's at it.  As much as I'd like to see St. Louis win another battle in the trenches, the Steelers ought to have the upper hand if they can keep the Rams secondary on its toes with some quick-footed Bell-Brown mojo.

San Diego Chargers at Minnesota Vikings (-2.5) - And now, a paradox must end - I'm 0 - 2 picking Vikings' games and 2 - 0 picking Chargers games.  I've really dragged my feet on this one too because these teams look pretty evenly matched from my vantage point.  So... uh... Vikings?

Oakland Raiders at Cleveland Browns (-3.5) - It looks like the fun police are on patrol in Cleveland.  All Josh McCown and no Johnny Football make the Browns a dull team.  I may regret not picking the Raiders with their way more interesting Amari Cooper fireworks show, but Cleveland's defense is no joke.  Take that with a long flight and early start time, and I see Oakland getting off to a slow start they'll have a hard time overcoming.  P.S., How weird is it to see the Browns and Raiders in the Well Drink bucket?  Enjoy it while it lasts!

Indianapolis Colts (-3.5) at Tennessee Titans - It's starting to feel like desperation time for the Colts, so what better way to turn things around than to visit a team they've beaten 12 out of the last 13 times they've played each other?  This feels like the perfect game for Andrew Luck to get back to gunslinging after being demolished by what are likely the two best defenses Indy will face this year - at least that's what this sad fantasy owner is telling herself.  But the Colts might need some gunslinging after making Ryan Fitzpatrick look like a Pro Bowler on Monday; this could be a fun one for that Mariota kid too.

San Francisco 49ers at Arizona Cardinals (-6.5) - This Cardinals team looks even more for real than the last two iterations under Bruce Arians, and they have a sneaky-good homefield advantage.  I think that spells trouble for the unpredictable 49ers, but it's a little late in the day to type more about this one. 

Denver Broncos (-3.5) at Detroit Lions - Given Denver's significant offensive struggles, I feel a tad skeptical about this being a surefire win for the Broncos.  But they've been beating better teams than the Lions on the strength of an incredible defense.  Assuming Detroit might just cough up a turnover or two--she said sardonically--I see the Broncs winning the field position battle and racking up just enough extra scoring opportunities to keep on trucking.

House Punch Games: Most likely to be lop-sided, sloppy and/or otherwise painful to digest

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Houston Texans (-6.5) - Like the Colts, the Texans can get right back in the mix with a win this week.  Seeing as how the Buccaneers have already allowed 7 sacks through two games (against the Saints and Titans, mind you), I think this is a good time for that mean Houston front seven to take over.

Philadelphia Eagles at New York Jets (-2.5) - I know we're only three weeks into the season, but the Jets are allowing 8.5 points per game.  That's downright insane, and good for Todd Bowles in making this stout defense hum right out of the gate.  A week ago, I probably would've given the Eagles the benefit of the doubt against Gang Green, but Philly's offensive line is almost certainly no match for what the Jets are cooking right now.

New Orleans Saints at Carolina Panthers (-7.5) - Music for this prediction is brought to you by sad Saints fans. Drew Brees says he could play Sunday which is almost certainly not true, but even if it were, New Orleans just hasn't been a good football team for a while.  The Panthers should be able to hold serve with the Falcons against another cupcake team at home.

Jacksonville Jaguars at New England Patriots (-13.5) - We might finally get the Jimmy Garoppolo appearance that everyone Jimmy Garoppolo has been hoping for!  This thing seems ripe for fourth quarter backup QB garbage time.  But seeing as how the Jaguars have more wins than the Seahawks and Colts right now, I'll stop badgering them a little while.

Chicago Bears at Seattle Seahawks (-15) - What does Kam Chancellor's return get the Seahawks?  A three-possession point spread!  Jimmy Clausen's presence might have something to do with it too, but I think Russell Wilson should feel a lot more confident pre-scheduling a tweet about this homefield opener. 

Lovely Lady Locks 

I’m trying my hand at three points-based picks every week that I think are locks. I hope to count my Monopoly money by the end of the season and will keep you posted along with my overall picks record. For Week 3, my Lovely Lady Locks are:

• Falcons -2 over Cowboys
• Jets -2.5 over Eagles
• Panthers -7.5 over Saints

So How's My Pickin'?
Straight Up Record: 19 - 13
Against the Spread: 4 - 2