A Reason to Love and Hate Every NFL Team This Season: NFC West Edition

It's time to round out our first ramp up to the 2015 NFL season with reasons to love and hate the teams of the NFC West!

Arizona Cardinals

Love - Exterminating the Injury Bug
But first, I'd be remiss if Lady Blitz didn't acknowledge a real-life lady blitzer, Jen Welter, a fourteen year veteran in the Women's Football Alliance who is now the first female coach to be hired in the NFL.  She'll be interning with the Cardinals through the preseason as a linebacker coach.  Go Jen!  Secondly, another reason to love Arizona this season--we hope--is that it'd be hard for this team to have worse luck with injuries this season than last season. In 2014, the Cardinals lost defensive stalwarts Darnell Dockett and John Abraham, starting running back Andre Ellington, and first and second string QBs Carson Palmer and Drew Stanton for meaningful windows of the season... and they still managed to go 11-5!  This team has looked better than fine during Bruce Arians' tenure in Arizona to date, so imagine the ceiling they could have if they can just outlast the injury bug this year, especially with the #2 spot in the NFC West looking mighty attainable these days.  And with guys like Mike Iupati and LaMarr Woodley coming on board to shore up both lines of scrimmage, the Cards will have more bulk and depth to push around the weaker teams of the NFC.

Hate - Skill Players Anonymous
For all of the energy the Cardinals have put into bolstering their less sexy linemen positions on this roster, village elder Larry Fitzgerald is still by far the most recognizable skill player by a long shot. Beyond Michael Floyd, whom you probably know best for ruining your fantasy bench, I dare you to name another wide receiver on this team without Googling it.  If Carson Palmer can't go or returns from his ACL injury at less than 100%--a verifiable possibility--Arizona will be right where it ended things last year, with some no-name off the scrap heap like Drew Stanton or, Kanye forbid, Logan Thomas running from linebackers and throwing dead ducks off his back foot.  And even if Palmer returns as good as new, he's certainly not going to get any kind of balance from the Cardinals' ground game.  There isn't a single running back on this team who's been in the league for more than three years, and Arizona's best option at the outset this season is Andre Ellington, who averaged three yards per carry last season.  You would think that after the Cards were torpedoed by their lack of depth at all three positions last year they would address them in some way this offseason.  Nope.  Not a single wide receiver or running back of note acquired in free agency or the draft.  So once you get your hopes up about the possibilities in Arizona this season, look no further than the wild card round.  Again.

San Francisco 49ers

Love - Interesting Uniforms?
To call the 49ers a supernova at this point sounds too good to be true except that I'm just referring to a rapidly imploding star.  So I can't in good conscience tell you there will be anything to love or look forward to for a team that has lost its superb coaching staff and just about everyone else with Pro Bowl credentials since December.  It looks like San Francisco will be hosting Super Bowl 50 from the luxury box instead of the sidelines in 2016, but at least the fans willing to drive out to godforsaken Santa Clara will have these, um, interesting black and red uniforms to commemorate this inevitable season.  Whatcha think, Kaep?

Hate - How the Mighty Will Fall and Fall
If you thought 8 - 8 was a nightmare season under Jim Harbaugh’s watch, you’d probably call Jim Tomsula a miracle-worker if he gets the Niners to six wins this year. San Francisco’s front office was Melvillian in its quest to oust Harbaugh despite leading this team to three straight NFC championships and a Super Bowl. Personality clashes matter when they conflict with an organization’s long-term vision, but it’s clear that Ted Baalke & friends didn’t even have a Plan A after giving the pleated khakis the boot and eventually settling for Tomsula after scaring off every other viable candidate.  Even if they had landed a strong head coaching prospect, the 49ers have a seemingly impossible number of holes to fill on the roster this year. Their two best linebackers, Patrick Willis and Chris Borland, both retired in unexpected fashion as did stalwart linemen Anthony Davis and long-time Pro Bowler Justin Smith. Frank Gore and guard Mike Iupati left for other teams, which could compromise San Francisco’s already tenuous balance on offense with Colin Kaepernick struggling in the pocket. Stranger things have happened, but I’m seeing a 95% chance at a miserable, half-empty Jeans Stadium and a 5% chance of falling outside of the top 10 draft picks next season. The Super Bowl host city curse is real, but rarely is it this self-inflicted.

Seattle Seahawks

Love - Jimmy Graham's New Digs
It's usually delusional to say that a team is "just one [insert player position here] away" from a Super Bowl, but this was assuredly the case for the Seahawks on one fateful night in February.  Russell Wilson did what he could last season with one of the thinnest receiver groups in the league, and it was still enough to get Seattle to its second consecutive Super Bowl.  But with the trophy on the line, Wilson was reduced to check-downs to virtually unheard of WR Chris Matthews, and you know how that one ended. And so in a stunning move, the Seahawks got even richer when they acquired Jimmy Graham from the Saints this offseason.  Barring catastrophic injury, it's hard to think of a trade that has more upside and less downside than Russell Wilson getting a serviceable tight end who happens to be a heckuvan end zone receiving threat too. And though it feels like an alien hatchling boring through my entrails to say it, Graham will do well for himself to move on from a collapsing franchise with an aging quarterback to one of the most talented young teams in the league with a quarterback somehow just now hitting his prime after two straight Super Bowl appearances. Freaking Seahawks.

Hate - The Legion of Bandwagon
With the 49ers reeling and the Seahawks looking like the next big dynasty that's here to stay, those long-time 12th Men have become totally insufferable, and they're multiplying! I can attest to the sudden spring of blue and green paraphernalia happening in my town 2,000 miles away. On the one hand, I can get behind the likely attrition of Steelers and Cowboys fans that a new bandwagon brings, but on the other, you can see this team being good for so many years to come that they become the next loathe-worthy Yankees or Patriots.  With a boatload of wins comes new scrutiny about Pete Carroll's chewing gum addiction or Russell Wilson's robotic goody-two-shoes routine or Richard Sherman's Richard Sherman-ness, and Seahawks fans will be reduced to Pitchfork Media levels of "I knew these guys were great before they were big."  Even though they're probably lying.  So yeah, these are rich people problems since the 'Hawks look just as good going into 2015 as they have for the past three years, but it doesn't mean the rest of us can't start resenting them!

St. Louis Rams

Love - A Killer Underdog
In a way, this Rams team reminds me of my Memphis Grizzlies. They aren’t built to win in the way most teams are in the age of finesse offense and ubiquitous endorsement deals, but they love punching those guys in the mouth for the occasional delightful upset that no one saw coming.  Last year, the Rams were the only team to take down both the Seahawks and Broncos, and their punishing style of defense was so good that they managed to pitch two consecutive shutouts with a combined score of 76 - 0.  Granted, those games were against the Redskinks and Raiders, but this is an incredibly hard thing to do in the modern NFL no matter whom you're playing.  St. Louis' defense has only gotten scarier as veterans Robert Quinn, Chris Long and defensive ROY Aaron Donald will now be lining up with Nick Fairley, who came over from Detroit in free agency.  Add to that Nick Foles, a very likely upgrade from Sam Bradshaw and his cast of IR stand-ins, and Todd Gurley among many serviceable running backs, and you've got yourself a team with legitimate dark horse potential for once.  They aren't ready to dethrone the Seahawks--who is?--but putting this team in the wild card hunt suddenly doesn't sound so crazy.

Hate - The Inevitable Road to L.A.
For all the speculation about the Chargers and Raiders moving to their sister city, I'd put my money on the franchise whose owner has actually already bought a piece of land in Los Angeles and has since been turning the screws on St. Louis to pony up with public funds for a new stadium or lose their "beloved" franchise for good.  Things have gotten very messy in St. Louis to the extent that the group that manages the Rams' current venue is actually suing the city in hopes of avoiding a public referendum vote required by ordinance to finance a new stadium.  That's right, the city of St. Louis is being sued because it requires its own taxpayers to have some kind of determination in how their tax dollars are spent for things like billion-dollar sports stadiums. How dare they!  I for one hope this community decides to keep its lunch money and send Stan Kroenke and his toadies to the land of 10,000 parking lots.  L.A. deserves this kind of extortionist trash.  Besides, St. Louis is a baseball town anyway.


This concludes our Reasons to Love and Hate Every NFL Team preview.  Up next, the Lady Blitz crystal ball of win-loss and playoff predictions for every team!

More Teams to Love and Hate!

• AFC North Edition
• AFC South Edition 
• AFC East Edition 
• AFC West Edition 
• NFC North Edition 
• NFC South Edition
• NFC East Edition
   

A Reason to Love and Hate Every NFL Team This Season: NFC East Edition

Let us continue our unsolicited ramp up to the 2015 NFL season with reasons to love and hate the teams of the NFC East.

Dallas Cowboys

Love - An O-Line for the Ages
It's understandable for Cowboys fans to be anxious about what happens now that DeMarco Murray has left for Philadelphia of all places. Murray's 2014 season was nothing short of extraordinary, and his big production in nearly every game was critical to Dallas’ 12-4 season and eventual playoff run. But it was all only made possible by one of the best offensive lines we’ve seen in years. Three of the Cowboys' starting five linemen got both Pro Bowl and All-Pro team honors in 2015 and even generated MVP buzz, which is virtually unheard of for such a central but invisible position in the NFL. All of it was well-deserved. Behind this wall of blue-chip dominance, both Murray and Tony Romo posted their best individual seasons to date while managing to stay mostly healthy and helping Dallas' offense finally reach its full potential after many seasons of great but largely unmet expectations.  For all of the flak old crazy person Jerry Jones deserves as a GM, building this O-line should be remembered as one of his front office's greatest accomplishments, a surprisingly smart and measured way to get the most out of the skill players in the spotlight.  I have a feeling the Cowboys running game will be just fine this season as long this group stays intact.

Hate - Having No Moral Qualms
Okay, that was enough nice stuff about Jerry Jones. After all, legend has it that if he'd had his way last season, I'd probably be spending this paragraph abusing Cowboys backup QB Johnny Manziel. And boy how Johnny Rehab would have fit in with Dallas' growing cast of dysfunctional characters that this team seems to have no moral qualms about whatsoever.  First, there's alleged headcase Randy Gregory whose first-round talent wasn't enough to overcome a number of off-the-field concerns for every team... except for Dallas!  Then there's Greg Hardy, whom the Cowboys were quick to snatch up on the cheap after he was released by the Panthers and found guilty in a very disturbing case of domestic violence.  Nevermind that Hardy will likely be suspended for his first four games - he's Big D material through and through, worth the risk and the public disgust!  Then there's Jerry Jones' very overt interest in Adrian Peterson who recently plead guilty to assault charges against his child.  In the end, AP's current contract terms with Minnesota made a trade prohibitively expensive for the Cowboys, but as has been made apparent in the other acquisitions above, your personal track record is no object as long as the money's there.  Surprising for an NFL franchise to prioritize athletic talent at any cost, I know, but Dallas has made itself impossible to cheer for without turning a blind eye to everything else that is wrong with this picture.

New York Giants

Love - ODB All Day
Here’s to hoping the Madden Curse doesn’t rear its ugly head this season after Odell Beckham Jr. had one of the most electrifying rookie receiver campaigns I’ve seen in my lifetime.  Despite sitting out the first month of the season with a hamstring injury and playing #2 receiver to Victor Cruz until Week 7, Beckham had a blistering 1,300 yard,12 touchdown campaign that included The Catch everyone will talk about for years to come.  The man is a walking highlight reel who can do it all - make field goals, throw heat on the pitcher's mound, do rainbow kicks - and that's just in his leisure time.  ODB may be the most interesting football man in the world, and I want to watch every second of it.  As Megatron is to Matt Stafford, Odell Beckham makes Eli Manning and the Giants offense look not just competent but fun again. So watch out if Cruz returns to his old form - New York might rekindle that old dark horse potential it seems to have every leap year or so.

Hate - Forever Beholden to Eli Manning & Tom Coughlin
Dark horse status or no, the Giants have stumbled backwards into two very improbable Super Bowl wins in the past decade. Clearly someone in Manhattan sold their soul to make this happen. And so in return, Giants fans have had to suffer year after year through mind-numbing lost seasons from the likes of Eli Manning and Tom Coughlin who somehow made those Lombardi trophies possible despite looking mediocre to bad at just about every other turn. GM Jerry Reese can’t (or won’t) get rid of them because you never know when another improbable chip-in-a-chair playoff run will spring up without any forewarning, but it sure is a drag the four out of five times the Giants are exactly who we thought they’d be.  Between Coughlin's rat-faced grimace at every blown opportunity and Manning's face-palming penchant for interceptions, there has been so much endless suffering in New York for such fleeting moments of glory. Someone ought to write a Russian novel about it.

Philadelphia Eagles

Love - Watching the Mad Man at Work
Even schizophrenics have a point once in a while - see John Nash.  Chip Kelly's unorthodox coaching style has been under scrutiny ever since he transitioned from the college game to the pros, but so far the results have spoken for themselves - two 10-win seasons, a division title and a playoff appearance.  Heck, even Mark Sanchez technically had a winning record under his tutelage last year after Nick Foles was lost for the season.  Yet as he enters his third year with the Eagles, Kelly will face his biggest test yet as a coach and de facto GM after dramatically overhauling his roster in ways that have seemed excessive and counterintuitive at times.  As I wrote a few months back, the perception at this point seems to be that Kelly was willing to let go of all three of his most prominent skill players - LeSean McCoy, Jeremy Maclin and Nick Foles - as part of a failed larger plan to move up and draft Marcus Mariota in May.  The sheer number of offseason moves has been staggering and probably didn't result in what the Eagles wanted, and yet, I'm quite curious to see if Kelly can still make all of this work the way he has in Philadelphia and at Oregon before that.  I have a feeling he already has a new method to his madness, so I'm willing to step into the lab to see if this next experiment results in another eureka or a catastrophic explosion.

Hate - Is This QB Roster Real Life?
Let's be real though - at the end of all of Chip Kelly's fiendish maneuvering, this quarterback roster looks dead on arrival. In one of the more bizarre moves of the 2015 offseason, the Eagles traded Nick Foles for Rams QB Sam Bradford and then somehow also wound up with Tim Tebow along the way after we all agreed we were done - DONE! - with Tebow two years ago. What Philadelphia has lost with Nick Foles is a quarterback who went 14 - 4 as a starter these past two seasons but who also struggled to stay healthy at times.  That doesn't matter of course because what the Eagles are getting in return is one of the most injury-prone quarterbacks in the NFL, a guy who has missed a full 40% of games that have occurred since he was drafted in 2010 and who has already torn his ACL twice. Twice.  Lest we forget that Sam Bradford has never had a quarterback rating higher than 52 (out of 100) and has never averaged 7 yards per attempt. In fact, Bradford's best passing yards average to date would have ranked him 30th among all quarterbacks last season.  And he's the Eagles best option right now!  When you put all of the Eagles' current passing veterans together - Tim Tebow, Mark Sanchez and Sam Bradford - they actually have three of the five lowest QB ratings of any quarterback in the NFL since 2010.  Well done, Chip Kelly, and by that I mean if your quarterback roster was once a mid-priced steak, it would be far too well done for human consumption.

Washington Redskinks

Love - Observing the Gruden-Snyder Dumpster Fire
But JLotz, you say, this doesn't sound like something to love about the Washington Redskinks.  If you actually like this team, I can't say there will be a ton to jump for joy about for a garbage heap that keeps refilling itself.  Also, what's wrong with you?! But if you don't actually like the Redskinks and are looking for a steady flow of inconsequential gossip in a big media market, expect the antagonistic sparks to keep flying between corporate devil incarnate Dan Snyder and whipping-boy-come-lately Jay Gruden.  Given that Snyder has fought tooth and nail to be the worst owner in the NFL and Gruden has quickly learned he's just the next powerless pawn to carry out Snyder's every whim, this should be another fun season of terrible decision-making anchored by Gruden's sunken eyes and audible sighs on the sideline. For any bookies out there reading this, you should set an over/under on how many times Robert Griffin starts and gets benched before those glass legs give again.  Consider also how many weeks it will take Jay Gruden to run through a brick wall at FedEx Field to escape this ninth circle of an NFL franchise.  Should be fun for the rest of us!

Hate - Being the Gruden-Snyder Dumpster Fire
The Redskinks are a gift that keeps on giving for all of us on the outside, but if you do like this team (again, what's wrong with you?!), you've probably lived in agony for the past two decades and there looks to be no relief this year either.  You will always have the fond memories of Dan Snyder's past acts of extortion and buffoonery in this City Paper article to reminisce about.  And now you'll get to add a few more gems from this past year like Dan Snyder bribing real Native Americans and propping up fake ones to protect a team name that is indefensible in 2015 and also no longer under copyright.  Or the Redskinks removing seats from this stadium for the third year in a row due to abominably low attendance so that they can keep inflating ticket prices.  When you look at the body of evidence, there may not be a person on earth who hates Redskinks fans more than Dan Snyder himself, and he'll take all of you down with him if he has to in order to make a couple more dollars. You really should consider a B Team, just sayin'.

More Teams to Love and Hate!

• AFC North Edition
• AFC South Edition 
• AFC East Edition 
• AFC West Edition 
• NFC North Edition 
• NFC South Edition

A Reason to Love and Hate Every NFL Team This Season: NFC South Edition

Let us continue our unsolicited ramp up to the 2015 NFL season with reasons to love and hate the teams of the NFC South.

Atlanta Falcons

Love - Anyone But Mike Smith
Watching the Falcons crash and burn these past two seasons, you can't help but wonder if Atlanta's recent winning ways have been in spite of Mike Smith rather than because of him.  Despite winning the NFC South twice and making four playoff appearances, Smith was always under the microscope for making conservative and sometimes indefensible in-game coaching decisions.  Look no further than the Falcons' total last-minute collapses last season against the Lions and Browns - those two whiffs alone are the reason his team didn't make the playoffs in the lowly NFC South.  Fortunately for Falcons fans, that was finally enough for the franchise to move on from Smith and hire Seattle defensive mastermind Dan Quinn. Quinn is just what the doctor ordered for a defense that finished dead last in 2014, and he brings with him OC Kyle Shanahan who did spectacular work with the Redskins and Browns without nearly the offensive talent this team has. Had Atlanta decided to replace Mike Smith with a plastic lawn chair, it still would have been an upgrade by some measure, but Quinn looks to be even better.

Hate - Truly Embarrassing Fans
There’s a saying in Atlanta that you only root for two teams at a given time: UGA football and whoever else is winning at the moment. In that case, the Falcons are fresh out of luck after a very successful year for the Hawks and the embarrassing revelation that this franchise has been pumping crowd noise into the Georgia Dome for years to drown out fans’ growing apathy.  Sure, everyone was eager to #RiseUp when the dirty birds were winning consistently, but now they've scampered off to other stadiums where the weather is fairer.  Even owner Arthur Blank was quick to admit how pathetic his organization was to pipe in canned noise; it's just one of the ways Atlanta became more of a sitcom as Mike Smith descended into coaching madness.  But unlike Robert Kraft, who had no problem arguing with the league about whether or not his team tampered with footballs, Blank probably knew he'd have a hard time asserting that the crowd noise was real in a stadium that looked like this most of the time last year.

Carolina Panthers

Love - Cam Newton's Hero Ball
I've been known to give Cam Newton a hard time on this blog from time to time.  His sullen early years, odd sweater selections and division rival status have made the bullseye a bit bigger than maybe it should be these days. But I also have to give credit where credit is due.  Despite battling injuries most of last season with zero help from his blind side or JV receiving squad, Newton did what he had to in order for the Panthers to seize victory from the jaws mildly used dentures of the NFC South and even win their first playoff game in Charlotte since 2003.  I would be remiss if I didn't also mention the resurgence of Jonathan Stewart on the ground and Carolina's punishing defense late in the 2014 season.  But Newton played a central role in keeping this offense together and persisting through a number of setbacks when the Panthers looked dead in the water in November that won't be as apparent on the stat sheet or in the remembrance of a truly bizarre but successful 7-8-1 season.

Hate - Whatever Karma's Coming for Ousting DeAngelo Williams
Karma is a dangerous thing in the NFL... unless you're the Patriots anyway.  So I fear for whatever's coming to the Panthers for releasing all-time leading rusher DeAngelo Williams so unceremoniously after the 2014 season.  From a purely business side of things, you can't blame Carolina for wanting to move on from an aging running back after they've been saddled by horrendous contracts and salary cap restrictions for so many years.  But as best I can tell, this front office did so without any communication or respect toward the longstanding face of the franchise.  It was enough for Williams to air serious dirty laundry, most notably that no one from the Panthers front office attended his mother's funeral even after she and Williams made significant contributions to the NFL's annual breast cancer awareness campaign. So whether it's a catastrophic injury, the fact that the Panthers drafted yet another linebacker in the first round or that they just cannot for the love of all that's good and holy acquire a serviceable left tackle, something wicked is coming to Carolina after tossing DeAngelo Williams to the curb.

New Orleans Saints

Love - This Year Can't Be Worse, Right?
By saying this, I’ve already cursed Drew Brees into tearing his ACL eight minutes into Week 1, and I am truly sorry for that, Who Dat Nation. After the Saints dumped just about anyone resembling a receiver including previously-signed-to-a-five-year-deal-Pro-Bowler Jimmy Graham, no one really knows what to expect this season.  But let's be real, last season looked like it had it all on paper with nothing to show for it: an aforementioned locked-in Graham, first round wunderkind Brandin Cooks, Mark Ingram having the best season of his underwhelming pro career... and a defense that couldn't stop rain in the Sahara.  So the Saints are really shaking up the etch-a-sketch with what looks like it'll be a power running game, C.J. Spiller taking over for Pierre Thomas and an actual, serviceable secondary.  I can't say for sure the win-loss record will be much better than last year's 7-9 whiff, but this looks like a team that can meet or exceed our expectations now.  It really can't be much worse than going 3-3 in the worst division in football and blowing five fourth quarter leads with a withering "finesse" offense.

Hate - Drew Brees Running the Wildcat, Probably
As much as the optimist in me hopes all of New Orleans' dramatic moves will make them Seahawks 2.0, I can't help but think dumping Jimmy Graham and Kenny Stills whilst failing to acquire a single wide receiver or tight end this offseason will probably backfire on this team.  Even I don't know anyone on this depth chart after Brandin Cooks and increasingly-decrepit Marques Colston, so be sure to buy low on the likes of Kyle Prater, Seantavius Jones and Joseph and/or Josh Morgan this year.  I'm sure one of them won't get cut in training camp, statistically speaking.  Maybe I'm overreacting and Sean Payton has found more undrafted gold than Drew Brees will know what to do with in two months.  But from the outside looking in, it appears Payton and GM Mickey Loomis had a temper tantrum after a down season and forgot to replace all the toys they broke in the process.  With zero depth after Cooks and Colston, this feels like another wasted year in the few Brees has left on that arm.  Only this time, he might be running the wildcat with no one left to throw to.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Love - Jeering on Jameis Winston
It's rare that a public figure comes along so universally reviled he can unite a nation in turmoil.  Luckily the Tampa Bay Buccaneers have given us that pleasure for at least two seasons by taking Jameis Winston first overall in the 2015 draft despite mountains of evidence that he's a terrible person and also an interception machine. I'm not saying our collective hatred for Jameis Winston can solve all of the world's problems, but pretty much everyone outside of the greater Tallahassee police department can agree that it is a pure delight to watch this guy fail and fail hard.  Case and point - I think we all remember where we were when, after a season of terrible decisions on and off the field, Winston finally got his comeuppance by buttfumbling himself against Oregon in the inaugural BCS playoffs.  I really could watch this on a loop to lighten every rainy day.  And I do believe we will get much, much more with a miserable mistake-laden rookie season with the Buccaneers we've all been hoping for.  Bring on the GIFs, for the NFL has found a new Snidely Whiplash and we're hungry for more schadenfreude!

Hate - Cheering on Jameis Winston
The flipside of the coin is of course that there will always be those who cheer for Jameis Winston and defend him vehemently either because he ends up being really good at football or because they are dedicated Men's Rights Activists.  Heck, the Buccaneers organization was doing all of this way before draft day by selectively investigating the parts they wanted to about Winston's checkered past at FSU in partnership with... Jameis Winston's lawyer!  No conflicts of interest to see here, folks.  FSU Twitter also quickly became a truther central in which Winston just happened to be the victim of some grand conspiracy for transgression after transgression that he can't possibly be held responsible for.  I mean, how scientific could DNA evidence really be anyway?  This guy wins football games - what else do you want?!  So, should you find yourself cheering for Winston this season, you will probably find yourself rationalizing away many ugly truths as the people of Tallahassee have been doing for years.  It's not what I'd call good company.

More Teams to Love and Hate!

• AFC North Edition
• AFC South Edition 
• AFC East Edition 
• AFC West Edition 
• NFC North Edition

A Reason to Love and Hate Every NFL Team This Season: NFC North Edition

And now, it's time to continue our unsolicited ramp up to the 2015 NFL season with reasons to love and hate the teams of the NFC.  Let's start with the NFC North!

Chicago Bears

Love - John Fox, Likely Coaching Upgrade 
He may not be in the very top echelon of the NFL coaching ranks, but John Fox is pretty alright. I said as much when I blog-shamed the Broncos for letting him go in our AFC West post.  For some of his flaws in big moments, Fox is certainly an upgrade for the Bears compared to recently axed CFL guru Marc Trestman. For one, Trestman bore an uncanny resemblance to Doom in Roger Rabbit, which gave everyone the eebie-jeebies.  Fox, on the other hand, just kind of looks like a drunk uncle.  Second, John Fox has some serious turnaround chops - he took both the Panthers and Broncos from mediocrity to Super Bowl contention almost immediately, and he's got the defensive acumen the Bears have sorely lacked since Lovie Smith and Brian Urlacher left. Chicago has an uphill battle ahead in a very competitive division, but I'd bet you $20 they'll be better than 5 - 11 this season, Jay Cutler and all...

Hate - Despite His Best Efforts, Jay Cutler Still Hasn't Been Eradicated
I'll probably never get tired of these anti-vaxxer retreads. I'll also never get tired of upholding Jay Cutler's ranking as the most hated part of the Chicago Bears - this is actually his unprecedented fourth season with such a Lady Blitz distinction! There are things about Cutler that have always been and always will be true to make him a most-hated candidate: his ability to look drunk and/or like a petulant teenager in any context, his aforementioned desire to give the city of Chicago measles, and his love of distributing the ball to cornerbacks across America.  This past season though, we got peak Cutler with 18 interceptions, 38 sacks and QB performances that were collectively so bad they drove the Bears to start Jimmy Clausen--Jimmy Clausen!--instead amid late season trade rumors.  But somehow, there were no serious takers willing to unsaddle the Bears from Cutler's 7-year, $54 million-guaranteed contract.  I just don't get it - who could say no to this face?

Detroit Lions

Love - A Sudden Defensive Juggernaut 
The present-era Lions have mostly been known for the offensive pyrotechnics of Matt Stafford and Calvin Johnson for good reason.  Golden Tate also proved very reliable last season and had a major hand in some of Detroit's most impressive comebacks. But we owe a great deal of that 11-win campaign to the Lions' suddenly great defense. Sure, they've had tons of individual talent in recent years with Ndamukong Suh, Nick Fairley, Ziggy Ansah and DeAndre Levy among others, but it all finally coalesced in 2014.  Last season, the Lions were third in the NFL in points allowed, second in yards allowed, and first against the run by a considerable margin.  Of course, there will be some big cleats to fill on this side of the ball in 2015, which we'll get to in a minute, but Detroit's defensive accomplishments last year were bigger than just a couple of Pro Bowlers.  If they can maintain some semblance of this cohesion, they'll be fine as long as Stafford and Megatron stay healthy too.

Hate - A Suh-Less Defensive "Juggernaut"
Perhaps very smartly, the Lions front office decided that Ndamukong Suh’s monster free agency price tag had far bigger costs than benefits. But Suh's departure in tandem with Nick Fairley's move to the St. Louis Rams means Detroit has lost the anchor to its defensive line and more.  Both players were instrumental to this team's success in the trenches against the run and keeping the pressure on in the pocket.  The Lions picked up former Ravens great Haloti Ngata to help plug some of the holes, and he will be more than capable at stuffing the line of scrimmage.  But given Ngata's age and a thinning roster of experienced linemen who can play every down, it seems inevitable that Detroit will take a step back after a superb defensive performance last season.  It might be time to take a dip on the Jim Caldwell coaching coaster.

Green Bay Packers

Love - A Whole Lotta Continuity
Overhauls and rebuilds are par for the course in the NFL. From recent Super Bowl winners like the Ravens and Patriots to underwhelming busts like the Saints and Dolphins, it seems no team is immune to wiping the slate clean... except for the Packers. Year after year, they've managed to retain the vast majority of their top talent, and this offseason was no exception when Green Bay re-signed Randall Cobb, Brian Bulaga and BJ Raji among others.  With guys like Aaron Rogers and Clay Matthews locked in for the next four to five years as well, the Packers remain a bastion of stability built to go deep in the playoffs without breaking the bank or trading away their future.  It's no wonder they've made the playoffs six of the past seven seasons and won four consecutive division titles.  Having that Rodgers guy might have helped too of course.

Hate - Mike McCarthy, January's Dr. Doom 
Trigger Warning: Packers fans, I am going to open some wounds here, so if it's still too painful for you to rehash, you may want to skip this paragraph.  For all of Green Bay's consistent domination in the regular season, this team has been nothing short of disastrous in the playoffs ever since they won the big one in 2011.  There's plenty of blame and bad luck to go around, but at some point the buck stops with coach Mike McCarthy given the massive level of talent on this team. In 2012, the 15 - 1 Packers were stunned at Lambeau by the Giants. It was clear the Packers had no Plan B on offense or defense when New York was able to pressure Rodgers and move the ball at will against Green Bay's defense.  2013 and 2014 were hardly different. Each time, the 49ers won the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball and utterly destroyed the Packers defense with the read option. It was confounding how little McCarthy or DC Dom Capers adjusted the second time around. But nothing compares to this team's nuclear meltdown this past January.  Up by 12 against Seattle with four minutes to go, the Packers allowed two touchdowns and a Hail Mary two-point conversion and also botched an easy onside kick recovery to eventually lose in overtime.  Those last few minutes may have been a series of unfortunate events, but they were made possible by Mike McCarthy's awful clock management and risk aversion early on. The Packers settled for field goals on the one yardline twice in the first half and called only four passing plays for Rodgers in the fourth quarter before the final drive. It's enough to make you wonder how many more mulligans McCarthy will get if he can't take this team to February this time around.

Minnesota Vikings

Love - Teddy! Teddy! 
Rookie QB Teddy Bridgewater might have flown under your radar last season and understandably so. On draft night, he was eclipsed by the glistening forehead of Johnny Manziel, and he didn't really find his mojo on the field until late November when the Vikings were all but eliminated from playoff contention.  If Bridgewater's late-season ascension is any indicator though, he looks ready to make the leap this year.  He had a passer rating north of 90 in four of his past five games and was deadly accurate in the pocket, a few interceptions aside. With Adrian Peterson [reluctantly] returning to the lineup and the Vikings bringing in one of the highest-lauded rookie classes of the 2015 draft, Teddy will have a well-balanced roster and a little more experience on his side to have a breakout kind of season.


Hate - Adrian "All Pout" Peterson 
It’s no Ballghazi, she wrote sardonically, but another intriguing storyline this offseason has been Adrian Peterson’s very public desire to get the heck out of Minnesota despite having zero leverage and piles of money waiting for him on his current contract. There’s also the fact that the Vikings have stood by the face of their franchise even after he plead guilty to assault for whipping his child and major sponsors fled. It's always difficult to know how much of this kind of conflict is about contract gamesmanship and how much is genuine backlash against a team that kept Peterson at arms length while he was sidelined last season.  Now that the beleaguered running back has decided to participate in OTAs, it seems to be more of the former, or more likely, that he came to terms with having exactly zero bargaining chips.  In any case, it's got to be more than a little awkward at Vikings headquarters these days after Peterson telegraphed his desire to be traded to Dallas in the spring.  Wouldn't you want to be a fly on the wall for that Thanksgiving dinner?

More Teams to Love and Hate!

• AFC North Edition
• AFC South Edition 
• AFC East Edition 
• AFC West Edition

A Reason to Love and Hate Every NFL Team This Season: AFC West Edition

Let us continue our unsolicited ramp up to the 2015 NFL season with reasons to love and hate the teams of the AFC West!

Denver Broncos

Love: Peyton Manning Will Not Die

The rumors of Peyton Manning's football death have been greatly exaggerated, though I've tried to predict the end of his career for three years now.  So I'll let fate sort that one out for a change.  In the meantime, not knowing whether Manning will be back at full speed after a nasty quad injury last season, we can admire the certainty that he will probably play until it's no longer physically possible because he's more robot than human. With a second Lombardi so close and yet so far away two years ago, there's no doubt No. 18 will crawl on hands and knees--flesh wounds and all--to get one more shot.  But maybe it's about time for John Elway to show him the corporate side of things, you know, just for another mid-career option. Just sayin'.  Look at that gangly old-man arm!

Hate: Gary Kubiak?  Go Home Front Office, You're Drunk
Jim Harbaugh's ouster in San Francisco certainly grabbed more headlines this offseason, but I'm inclined to think the Broncos front office will regret firing John Fox when the dust settles and they realize they replaced him with Gary Kubiak. The thin atmosphere in Denver doesn't make it easy to think straight sometimes, especially when your front office is known for making awful decisions, but how else could the Broncos possibly justify replacing a guy who's been to two Super Bowls and taken this team to the playoffs four years in a row, Tim Tebow and all, with a guy who's never made it past the divisional round and has two winning seasons as a head coach to his name? Gary Kubiak's hire in Denver isn't totally out of left field - he has two decades of experience there as a player and then as an assistant. But if you're trying to squeeze every last drop out of Peyton Manning's waning career, why would you kick a solid coach who knows this roster to the curb for the coaching equivalent of a 2003 Honda Accord?  Kubiak is a perfectly good means to 8 or 9 wins, but he's hardly the answer for any team that wants to go deep in the playoffs.  Combine this with rumors that the Broncos were trying to shop Manning around in the offseason and methinks the tank is on.

Kansas City Chiefs

Love: A Real-Live Wide Receiver!
The Chiefs, erm, accomplished something highly improbable last year when they managed to go the entire season without a single touchdown pass to a wide receiver.  That's bad, considering that is job requirement numero uno for the position.  In fact, the last time this happened was 1964 when the forward pass was still considered the stuff of smoke and mirrors by many teams.  Anyway, as "special" as last year was, Kansas City will almost certainly avoid a repeat after reuniting WR Jeremy Maclin with fellow Eagles expat Andy Reid and acquiring guard Ben Grubbs to buy Alex Smith some time in the pocket.  The timing couldn't be better considering Maclin just came off a career season in Philly. Having a legit outside threat alongside Jamaal Charles and touchdown dance connoisseur Travis Kelce around should keep Arrow Head rocking this season, and this time it won't just be the tailgatin' booze. 

Hate: Second Banana Status

I truthfully can't think of a lot to hate about this iteration of the Kansas City Chiefs, but that's in large part because they're a pretty uneventful bunch in a division that features The Peyton Manning, San Diego's often-fun offense and the comic relief of the Raiders.  The Chiefs have only won the West once in the past decade, and though they've turned things around dramatically with Andy Reid at the helm, they certainly won't be division favorites going into this season.  They have proven they can beat the bottom of the barrel consistently and even managed to beat both eventual Super Bowl teams in 2014, but this team has had the tendency to fizzle when it matters most, especially against those pesky Broncos.  Until they can muscle their way into a better playoff position, it's hard to imagine KC playing more than second fiddle to the AFC's better half.

Oakland Raiders

Love: Derek Carr Might Just Be Alright
Now there's a sensibility we haven't heard in Oakland since Rich Gannon retired a decade ago!  And besides being Jesse Pinkman's doppelganger, Derek Carr had a quietly good rookie season while we were balking at Blake Bortles and Johnny Manziel in 2014.  He had more touchdown passes than Russell Wilson and fewer interceptions than Andrew Luck or Peyton Manning with roughly the same number of attempts.  If you're starting to get curious about Carr's sleeper status in 2015, let me help by reminding you that he'll be throwing to Amari Cooper, the former Alabama wideout who managed to make us forget how good his predecessor Julio Jones was with plays like these.  With a solid start to his pro career and one of the most intriguing receivers in the draft at his side, Carr could give the beleaguered Black Hole something to grimace at--in Raiders' fans own loving way--this season.

Hate: Apparent Amnesia from 2003 to 2011
Le sigh.  Hand it to the Raiders to make a foot of progress and step back a mile.  As exciting as this young offense and Khalil Mack-led defense sounds on paper, they will be managed by new coach Jack Del Rio.  Why the amnesia?  Del Rio's last head coaching gig was with the pitiful Jacksonville Jaguars during that time, where he finished out his tenure with four straight losing seasons and two last-place finishes in the godawful AFC South. To Del Rio's credit, he did lead the franchise to its two most recent playoff appearances in the mid-aughts, but if you're looking for a guy with a successful turnaround track record, he probably wouldn't make your top 32.  For my love of underdogs, I'd like nothing better than this journeyman coach to prove me wrong and shake up the divisional order, but that would suggest Del Rio is somehow far more capable than the eight other victims to go through Oakland's revolving door over the past decade.

San Diego Chargers

Love: Serious Upgrading on the Ground
There probably weren't many tears shed in San Diego when former first round pick Ryan Mathews headed to Philadelphia this offseason.  Although there were a few flashes of promise during the running back's early career with the Chargers, he never quite lived up to the hype when he was healthy enough to play.  But after bringing in Orlando Franklin at tackle and drafting Melvin Gordon, who could actually be a rare first-round RB steal, San Diego may finally get the offensive balance needed to take this team to the top of the AFC West.  Lest I forget to mention Gordon is second only to Barry Sanders in college football history for most rushing yards in a single season.  And if he turns out to be even 80% of Sanders, the Chargers could be serious conference contenders.  Don't say you didn't see it coming!

Hate: Reminding Us How Awful Stadium Finance Is
This could be filed under the Raiders too, but San Diego is in the throes of an ugly finance battle that could send the Chargers to LA if they don't pony up for a new stadium.  If you want a superb rundown of why this is bad, you won't be disappointed by this John Oliver bit, but in a nutshell, San Diego is just the latest in a long line of cities that have been extorted for public funds and insanely large tax breaks to keep a team in the very-most profitable league in the country in town.  If the city OK's the deal, they'll get to keep the Chargers until the next upgrade request inevitably comes along at the expense of all of the other things that are supposed to be publicly funded like schools, police and roads and such.  And if the city says no, there's no real incentive for the franchise to negotiate on any kind of funding arrangement that would be more reasonable.  The Chargers can simply go to one of the many other cities that are thirsty for an NFL team and willing to sell their souls to get one.  There's no real tenable solution for policymakers who know the emotional stakes their constituents put into a home team (and may well feel the same way themselves) and who don't get nearly the same instant gratification should they decide to protect their community's long-term financial viability instead.  Anyway, consider this your PSA/policy wonk analysis of this series - this issue sucks.  Next week: on to the NFC!

More Teams to Love and Hate!

• AFC North Edition
• AFC South Edition 
• AFC East Edition

A Reason to Love and Hate Every NFL Team This Season: AFC East Edition

Let us continue our unsolicited ramp up to the 2015 NFL season with reasons to love and hate the teams of the AFC East!

Buffalo Bills

Love: Rex Ryan + A Nasty Defense

There’s something about those Ryan brothers - they have both been rehired at lightning speed after very inconsistent coaching campaigns in the past few years. I for one am delighted that we won’t get a year off from Rex Ryan though, especially now that he gets to helm one of the premiere defenses in the NFL. As the 2014 Bills proved to doubters like me, you don’t have to have a top 10 offense to earn a winning record if your defense can punish the likes of Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady without remorse. Expect more of the same with a newly energized defensive guru coming to town, retouched tattoo and all.  Between the team that was suddenly shunned by former coach Doug Marrone and the coach who finally let the hot seat catch up with him in NYC, it's Rex Ryan's Buffalo against the world in 2015.  Should be fun!

Hate: The NeverEnding Quarterback Question
If having a Pro Bowl-caliber defense makes Rex Ryan feel right at home in Buffalo, unfortunately so should his paper-thin prospects at quarterback after years of pain and strife with the likes of Mark Sanchez, Tim Tebow and Geno Smith in the Meadowlands. The Bills have certainly tried to reload their offense with LeSean McCoy, Percy Harvin and Charles Clay, but it's hard to imagine them having they same kind of play-making impact they are used to here. Opposing defenses just aren't going to sell out on the arms of Matt Cassel, E.J. Manuel or whoever else Buffalo picks off of the scrapheap by Week 5. As they often do, the Bills won too much in 2014 to draft a top QB prospect in May but not enough to make the playoffs.  Let's not even get into how abysmal free agency was for teams needing passers this year. All told, Buffalo is facing another year of QB purgatory that will surely lead to heart-breaking losses this defense doesn’t deserve.

Miami Dolphins

Love: An Offense on the Brink
In 2014, Ryan Tannehill had his best statistical season to date, Jarvis Landry emerged like a true #1 receiver, and Lamar Miller gained traction in his running game. Too bad none of that translated into the kind of breakthrough season Dolphins fans have been waiting for since the Laces Out era, but they sure look like they are right around the corner. Now Miami has added Saints exile WR Kenny Stills, TE Jordan Cameron and first-rounder DeVante Parker to the mix, and the chips are all in on Tannehill and OC Bill Lazor to use every bit of firepower at their disposal. As with the NASCAR races that [some] Floridians love so dearly, this burgeoning squad will either be a fast and furious contender or a fireball-grade car crash. From my vantage point, it’s as good a year as any for this team’s breakout. Otherwise, expect lots of shakeups next February.

Hate: The Marshmallow Test Fail
Ndamukong Suh was widely regarded as the biggest free agent of 2015, and he certainly won with Miami. The Dolphins managed to land Suh the old-fashioned way - with a giant pile of money no other team was willing and able to match. There is upside for Miami after getting desperately thin in its front seven last season and dropping off badly against the run. But Suh’s contract is awful top-heavy - the largest in history for a defensive player, in fact - so the Dolphins stand to live or die by how much this personal foul connoisseur improves his entire unit next year. Science tells us (a la the Marshmallow Test) that good things come to those who wait, and it ain’t much different for NFL teams during free agency. Although Miami now has one of the very best defensive linemen in the game because of some aggressive early maneuvering, Suh came at a hefty price, twice that of any of the next-best talents who also entered free agency. The risk is that the Dolphins now have limited ability to patch up the many holes they have on defense elsewhere for a long time, making it difficult for Suh to have the same impact he had last year with a very well-rounded Lions squad. If the risk outweighs the reward, Miami will wish it had counted to one hundred before signing that contract back in March.

New England Patriots

Love: Endless Domination
The Patriots win a whole lot. A whole lot more than just about any franchise in recent history.  And no matter how you feel about them, their fourth Super Bowl win this past February was perhaps their most impressive to date. If you like all of that, then this is the half-paragraph for you! If you don’t...

Hate: Endless Scandals and Asterisks
Here we go again. Just when you thought the Patriots could not be any more hateable than they already were, the Ballghazi Deflategate to end all -gates broke out in an apocalyptic fury just before the Super Bowl and the world has never been the same. There’s hatred to go around on so many levels here. First, there’s the high likelihood that the Patriots are lying and still trying to deny it as though they don’t look like total jackasses for doing so. While their gloryboy quarterback won’t even turn over his cell phone records to clear his own name, the Pats had no problem putting together a 20,000 word rebuttal to the Wells Report about how much there’s nothing to see here.  In terms of substance, this rebuttal that suggests the term "Deflator" is just new slang for Jenny Craig! Tom Brady's shifty-eyed press conference didn't help matters either, nor did the Patriots' decision to suspend the guys on the bottom rungs of the totem pole to stay in Roger "Ginger Hammer" Goodell's good graces. Regardless of whether or not deflating footballs made any tangible difference in the win-loss record, the Patriots' actions and non-actions during this whole ordeal are fishier than a clambake.  Second, we’ve had to suffer through endless media coverage over the most inane details and counterattacks about squishy footballs between Goodell and his new frenemy Robert Kraft whether we want to or not. Really. Front-page news for months about these ridiculous minutiae that has managed to eclipse stories on ISIS, domestic water shortages and police brutality. Over an amount of air that you wouldn’t survive an hour on. To quote one Mr. Samuel L. Jackson, hang on to your butts because we're going to get another whiff of this dead horse whenever Goodell rules on the appeal of his own ruling. Third, this scandal has only served to galvanize a fanbase that was already insufferable for arguing that Spygate wasn’t a real thing and pretending like Tom Brady is actually likeable. Now that Goodell is at peak levels of mismanagement in handling the Ballghazi investigation and subsequent punishment, Pats fans have reloaded with righteous indignation so they can keep on rationalizing to us that they are horribly mistreated and that we just hate them just because they're winning.  Oh we may resent you for winning a lot, Pats fans, but we really, really hate your overbearing sense of entitlement and faux-victimhood too.  Just shut up and take the rings already.  (Also, remember I already said nice things about you. Thanks for reading!)

New York Jets

Love: Todd Bowles, Miracle Worker
This will be an intriguing year for both the Jets and Cardinals after Todd Bowles left his assistant gig in Arizona to try his hand at head coaching in the Meadowlands. Bowles’ defensive work with the Cards was nothing short of spectacular. No matter the injuries, roster moves or level of incompetence on the other side of the ball, his squad consistently maintained top tier performance, at least until Arizona was down to third- and fourth-string quarterbacks. Now we will see what Bowles can do with a very solid Jets front seven and if it will be enough to mask some of Gang Green’s significant challenges on offense.  It may not be pretty, but it could be just the shot in the arm for a Jets team trying to become relevant again.  You may want to skip their criminally low-scoring slugfests with the Bills this season though.

Hate: It's Still the Jets
Should Todd Bowles turn out to be more of a good Samaritan than a miracle worker, the Jets will still be pretty painful to watch in all likelihood.  This team's ceiling may be a poor man's 2000 Ravens defense--which would be awesome!--but the floor is somewhere around the Eighth Circle: a collection of spare parts and skill players who used to fit firmly in better systems with better players surrounding them.  Look no further than Eric Decker, Stevan Ridley and now-Buffalo-bound Percy Harvin.  Stay far, far away from this four letter word when it's time to draft your fantasy team.  Don't say I didn't warn you!  Beware the Ides of Jets.

More Teams to Love and Hate!

• AFC North Edition
• AFC South Edition

A Reason to Love and Hate Every NFL Team This Season: AFC South Edition

Let us continue our unsolicited ramp up to the 2015 NFL season with reasons to love and hate the teams of the AFC South!

Houston Texans

Love: The Return of Clowney, We Hope
For all the hype, poor Jadeveon Clowney went the way of Greg Oden instead of Kevin Durant during his very short, injury-riddled rookie season. It's been almost two years since this defensive wrecking ball has played a full football season, and doggone it, Houston is ready for some carnage!  Of course, should Clowney reinjure something or prove to be a bust, Texans fans can always take comfort in J.J. Watt having another MVP-caliber season.  But imagine the heart palpitations that offensive guards across America are having right now thinking about these two flying at them at full speed after the snap.

Hate: The Leftovers
Much like the Bengals in our previous post, the Texans are often the "missed it by that much" team in the AFC.  This defense is reliably one of the hardest-hitting and most opportunistic with turnovers in the league, and with playmakers like Arian Foster and Andre Johnson, we almost forgot how bad Matt Schaub could be for years.  But Houston has fallen victim more times than not to settling for middling to cheap replacement talent, and this season should be no exception.  You need look no further than Matt Schaub's depressing parade of replacements at quarterback since 2013: T.J. Yates, Case Keenum, Ryan Mallet, and now Brian Hoyer. Outside of Tom Brady backup #2, the Texans' biggest free agency pickups of 2015 have been the retiring ghost of Vince Wilfork and safety Rahim Moore who single-handedly handed Joe Flacco that "elite" status in Denver three years ago.  So while Watt/Clowney should be everything it's hyped up to be and Foster is still a safe fantasy team pickup, don't expect the Texans to be world-beaters with the remainder of this scrap heap.

Indianapolis Colts

Love: Time for an AFC Regime Change
Much of the AFC’s glory over the past 15 years can be summed up with three names: Tom Brady, Ben Roethlisberger and Peyton Manning. Collectively, these QBs have started in 12 Super Bowls and won 9 of them since 2001 – not exactly the kind of variety that makes the League of Parity so compelling. But ever since Andrew Luck took the helm from Manning three years ago, the question hasn’t been if but when Luck will take the Colts back to the big dance. Under Coach Chuck Pagano’s tutelage, this team has never missed the playoffs and gotten one step closer to the Super Bowl every year. This offseason, they’ve added some defensive muscle and are also banking on uber-durable if uber-veteran Frank Gore to breathe some life into Indy’s running game. It’s hard to imagine the Colts being any worse off than they were a year ago when they made the AFC Championship. And with the other conference stalwarts above aging and evolving, they have as good a shot this year as any to make SB 50 something special.

Hate: Jim Irsay Is an Undeserving Moron

When we last cared about what Colts owner Jim Irsay was doing, he was on a fear and loathing adventure in Indianapolis where he was pulled over for a DWI... and caught hauling around a literal laundry bag of prescription pills and $30K in cash. Irsay’s punishment? A six game suspension and a $500,000 fine, which is like $20 to you and me. It’s a bad look for a league that practically throws darts when determining conduct penalties and for a guy born to play the part of a pompous, entitled gazillionaire (if Jeremy Irons doesn’t sign on someday). Even outside of the addiction issues that merit sympathy at some level, Irsay is also a train wreck on Twitter and seems to have no qualms about publicly criticizing his own players while they're on the roster. All this is to say, should the Colts finally break through all the way this season, who really wants to see Jim Irsay gloating his way through some uppers up in the luxury box in February?

Jacksonville Jaguars

Love: A Team That Is Trying
The Jaguars may be miserable to watch, but the Lord loves ‘em for trying. Whereas NBA teams like the 76ers and Lakers are comfortable telegraphing their tanking strategies to the world in hopes of landing a draft savior, the poor Jaguars have tried to do the right things in the worst way. Draft countless quarterbacks in the top ten, bring in a Super Bowl-winning coach with historic defensive accomplishments, lure big names looking for big contracts. It hasn’t amounted to more than desperation and embarrassment for most of this franchise’s existence, and it doesn’t look like it’ll turn around any time soon. But doggoneit, the Jaguars are trying.

Hate: Unbridled, Snakebitten Misery

The Jaguars are adorably bad to almost the same degree as the Chicago Cubs, minus the loyal Wrigley fanbase. Per the above, even when Jacksonville tries to do good things, they just have a habit of backfiring with the force of a Molotov cocktail. Case in point: one hour into this year’s rookie camp, third overall pick Donte Fowler tore his ACL and will not play this year. Busts like Justin Blackmon--a top ten receiver who could not make it through a single season without being suspended--and Blaine Gabbert--who gave Ryan Leaf a run for his money as worst QB bust in the modern era--come to mind. Heck, the thing the Jaguars are best known for at this point is having a fancy internet lounge and swimming pool in their home stadium so that fans can whatever necessary to distract themselves from the catastrophe on the field. Poor Jaguars, better luck in London I guess.

Tennessee Titans

Love: Mariota Mania
This franchise’s time in Houston notwithstanding, the Titans have had a brutal go of it at quarterback ever since Steve McNair left in 2006. Now that Jake Locker, poster boy for disability insurance, has hung up his lightly used cleats for good, Tennessee is rightfully rolling out the red carpet for #2 overall pick and Heisman winner Marcus Mariota. I don’t like sticking my neck out too often for hyped up rookies, but Mariota looks like the real deal, spread offense or not. His accuracy and touchdown-to-interception ratio in college were things of beauty, and his threat as a scrambler should make it hard for defenses to cover all the bases once he gets into a rhythm in the NFL. If the Titans’ young receiving talent comes close to as advertised, Mariota looks primed for Rookie of the Year honors and maybe an upset of the order in a division ripe for the picking.

Hate: No One Remembers the Titans
My genuine hope is that Marcus Mariota makes the Titans thrilling appointment television some day, especially because I’ve been in the purgatory that is the Titans regional viewing domain for two decades.  It is nothing short of agonizing. But until that happens, this has been the most insipid franchise in the NFL since Vince Young threw his pads in the stands five years ago. Those were the dysFUNctional days! Seriously, remove Mariota from the equation and you’ve got an uninspiring washed up coach who hasn’t done any of his alleged quarterback magic since already-2-time-MVP Kurt Warner joined his Cardinals in 2005. What else is there to like or even remotely remember about the most recently 2 - 14 Titans?  Bishop Sankey and Dexter McCluster (whose names are pretty awesome BTW)?  Kings of Leon stand-in Zach Mettenberger? Sexy train hobo Charlie Whitehurst?  The Titans have been an island of misfit toys for far too long, but they're the kind that you never wanted to play with anyway.  Here's hoping to something--anything--exciting to remember the Tennessee Titans by this season.

More Teams to Love and Hate!

• AFC North Edition