Week 3 Picks for Every NFL Game

What goes down must come up, right?  Right?!  Here's hoping for a better Week 3 slate of picks:

Top Shelf Games: Talent-rich, highly competitive and aged in oak barrels... spiritually speaking

Denver Broncos at Seattle Seahawks (-5) - America deserves a Super Bowl rematch that's better than the actual Super Bowl was with our Lady Blitz Game of the Week.  I'd be stunned if the Broncos experience the same point deficit that they did last February, but the ear-numbing environs of CenturyLink Field don't bode well for Peyton Manning's audibles.

San Diego Chargers at Buffalo Bills (-2.5) - Who would've thought amidst the home crowd boos in the preseason that the Buffalo Bills would ever make it to the Top Shelf whilst leading the AFC East?  I hope for reader Jonathan's sake that they do in fact shock the world this year - it would be poetic justice after years of misery under Ralph Wilson, may he rest in peace. I may come to regret this because I was thisclose to picking the Chargers, but given that they lost Ryan Mathews, have an early East Coast game, and will surely disappoint after a massive win against the Seahawks, this year's Bills might just take advantage.

Green Bay Packers at Detroit Lions (-1) - I don't know what to think of these two teams yet, but with the NFC North very much up for grabs, Packers-v.-Lions makes a rare Top Shelf appearance.  The edge in this game may just be defense given two strong-armed QBs and their arsenals of playmakers who suffered from slow starts last weekend.  But when in doubt, just go with Aaron Rodgers.

San Francisco 49ers (-2.5) at Arizona Cardinals - Did anyone else catch that the Cardinals are the only team in the mighty NFC West with a 2 - 0 record?  That Arizona defense in particular is as tough as ever, but when I looked at Colin Kaepernick's career stats against them, he's actually pretty darn good.  The Niners will be looking to rebound this week, especially since they haven't lost a big step against Seattle yet, so I think they find a way with a solid rushing effort and a late opportune turnover.

Well Drink Games: They may surprise you from time to time without all the high expectations

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Atlanta Falcons (-6.5) - Can Lovie still right the pirate ship after two disappointing weeks against backup QBs Derek Anderson and Austin Davis?  That'd be awesome from this Saints fan's standpoint.  But if the allegedly vaunted defense of the Bucs couldn't stop two guys I wouldn't be able to recognize in a bar at knifepoint, I think they're going to have a real hard time with Matt Ryan in the Georgia Dome.

Washington Redskins at Philadelphia Eagles (-6.5) - Here's another divisional matchup that probably won't be quite as good as it should be.  Kirk Cousins will have yet another chance to shop around his wares for teams with lesser starters.  He may shock the world and/or hand it off to Alfred Morris 25 times, but it probably won't be enough to stop the Eagles' offensive juggernaut.

Tennessee Titans at Cincinnati Bengals (-7) - Welp, I've already totally underestimated the Bengals this season.  Of course as soon as I start saying that, they usually find a way to disappoint, but luckily Cincinnati's defense should do more than enough against the Titans to keep pressure off of Andy Dalton.

Baltimore Ravens (-1.5) at Cleveland Browns - Give the Browns a ton of credit, they've proven that they've got plenty of fight in them this season and most certainly have survived without Trent Richardson on offense.  To pile it on, the Ravens usually find a way to prove me wrong, but I'm picking them anyway after a strong, balanced win against the Steelers last week.

Kansas City Chiefs at Miami Dolphins (-4.5) - I have no idea what to think of this game.  Both teams' leading rusher is injured and both teams tend to implode when the QB is under pressure, which is likely given both teams' pass rush.  I'll be rooting Chiefs but assuming 'Fins.

Pittsburgh Steelers at Carolina Panthers (-3.5) - As much as I would love for the Panthers to lose this game, they look like they are doing just fine without Greg Hardy.  That should be more than enough to keep Big Ben & co. in check for 60 minutes.

Chicago Bears at New York Jets (-3) - I like this matchup, I really do.  The Bears and Jets have been somewhat surprising this season, mostly in a good way (minus Jay Cutler in Week 1).  They have certainly played fearlessly anyway.  If there's one thing that the Bears should be mighty scared about, it's the Jets' merciless run defense.  But if Cutler can keep them on their heels with a health[ier] receiving corps, Chicago is the better team, at least on paper.

House Punch Games: Most likely to be lop-sided, sloppy and/or otherwise painful to digest

Dallas Cowboys (-1.5) at St. Louis Rams - The Cowboys could totally blow this game, but another healthy week for DeMarco Murray could really spread the Rams' defense and force QB Austin Davis to play a risky brand of catchup.

Houston Texans (-2.5) at New York Giants - It's hard to say at this point how good the Texans really are given the gift-wrapped early schedule, but the Giants are the gift that keeps on giving to competent defenses everywhere.

Minnesota Vikings at New Orleans Saints (-9.5) - When's the last time an 0 - 2 team was nearly a 10-point favorite? Hard to say, but between Adrian Peterson finally getting grounded and the Saints returning to the comfort of their own dome, please for the love of Kanye, Patrick Robinson, don't ruin this for the rest of us.

Indianapolis Colts (-7) at Jacksonville Jaguars - Remember how I picked the Jaguars to win last week?  That was funny.

Oakland Raiders at New England Patriots (-14.5) - Here's an idea: What if Bill Belichick and Charles Woodson go out for a good scowl after the Patriots destroy the hapless Raiders on Sunday?  Woodson's just the kind of veteran DB Belichick could turn into a one-last-shot comeback after two miserable years in Oakland.


So How's My Pickin'?
Last Week's Record: 7 - 9
Season Record: 15 - 17