1) The Video Controversy Is A Smokescreen.
I feel completely confident that the NFL is relieved that so many people (and media outlets) have spent an inordinate amount of time speculating on whether or not Roger Goodell actually saw footage of Ray Rice cold-cocking his wife before this week. It's exactly the kind of thing an organization this cowardly and arrogant would want - to deflect blame by supposing that the video makes any difference at all in how the league should have acted otherwise when the Rice incident first came to light in February. Admittedly, I was stunned at the firestorm that reignited this week because, in reality, it only confirmed more graphically what we all already knew about what Ray Rice did to his wife. We already knew that he hit her so hard that he knocked her unconscious and dragged her out of an elevator, that he admitted this months ago, that his wife apologized for the incident (as reinforced perplexingly by the Ravens PR team), and that Roger Goodell felt that this was worthy of a 2-game suspension, which many have pointed out is far more lenient than for many players who have been caught using recreational drugs. Somehow that is all suddenly supposed to be justifiable from the league's standpoint because you, John/Jane Q. Public, saw something disgusting that the NFL could have responded to swiftly and differently with or without video a long time ago. The Onion nailed this issue today with the headline, "NFL Announces New Zero-Tolerance Policy on Videotaped Domestic Violence." To act as though this new development somehow gives Roger Goodell a mulligan on dealing sufficient punishment to Ray Rice is to suggest that only the most graphic, impeccably documented incidents of domestic violence actually matter, which brings me to:
If I'm being completely cynical, it's all too likely that things will go right back to the status quo in the NFL once this particular incident blows over. After all, Ray Rice may never play another snap, and Roger Goodell has made his [retroactive] "statement." But there have been and will always be too many violent, abusive acts within and outside of professional sports, the vast majority of which will not come with video evidence, substantial media attention or external pressure to bring justice to the women--and men--who have suffered. You need look no further than Greg Hardy of the Carolina Panthers who was found guilty this summer of assaulting his girlfriend, threatening to kill her, and shoving her onto a couch piled with guns. He played last Sunday, has appealed his case until January, and incidentally got paid $13 million via the Panthers' franchise tag this season. Or Ray McDonald of the San Francisco 49ers who was arrested just days after the NFL enacted a new domestic violence policy for assaulting his pregnant girlfriend, leaving bruises on her neck and arms. He played on Sunday too while several defensive teammates were benched with injuries and suspensions even as a radio broadcaster for San Francisco got suspended for insensitive remarks about Janay Rice. Lest we forget that Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger was actually granted a reduced suspension by Roger Goodell a few years ago after not one but two deeply disturbing allegations of sexual assault. My point is that we know the gut-wrenching details of these and many more incidents inside and outside the NFL, yet we've chosen to turn a blind eye. The league appears to have no problem dragging its feet yet again with Hardy and with McDonald, and yet there isn't nearly the sense of public moral outrage for what they've done or the lack of serious consequences. Had Ray Rice--and the league--not gotten caught, there can be no doubt he would have played last week too as so many have before. Situations of public embarrassment cannot be the only time this issue matters, and our default position cannot continue to be that those being victimized aren't credible except in the most egregious, public circumstances - We have to decide as a society that when we say we don't tolerate violence against women, we actually don't. And that we validate women's experiences with violence as being real and see the responsibility within ourselves to condemn these acts and demand justice always. I can guarantee you that you know people who have lived this brutal reality - this is not just an NFL problem.
3) We Can Do Something
And so I'll close with perhaps the most important thing that has been lost in all of the "did they/didn't they" noise: we can take this opportunity to make a major change in how we respond to domestic violence and sexual assault from this moment on, hold others accountable, and raise awareness and resources for an issue that has been kept on the sidelines for too long. I will leave you with a passage from good friend and Lady Blitz reader Jeanie, a Baltimore native and Ravens fan who is among the most generous and thoughtful people I know:
Here’s
the opportunity, I think: let’s keep this horrible story on the front page of
ESPN for as long as possible. Let’s talk about domestic violence and the fact that
three American women are killed by an intimate partner every day. Let’s keep
talking about how deplorable and inexcusable Ray Rice’s behavior was, and how
horrified we all are about it. There’s a fear that we’ve become extremely
desensitized in this country, which often seems like a fair characterization to
me—but I’m glad to know that people are having such visceral reactions to what
he did...
Maybe,
hopefully, like Michael Vick and the Humane Society, Ray Rice will devote the
rest of his life and money to helping end violence against women. No matter what,
let’s keep talking about it – not about who saw what when or whether it was a
PR play to ban him or why Janay is still with him – that’s all a distraction and does not
help us further the conversation. Let’s talk about the women who are physically,
mentally, sexually abused – every. single. day. – but behind closed doors.
Consider donating your time or money to a good cause!
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence Project, Inc.
NNEDV Hopeline
RAINN
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