A Reason to Love and Hate Every NFL Team This Season: AFC East Edition

Hey, strangers!  It's time to dust off the blogging cobwebs as we amble toward the start of the 2016 NFL season.  Given exciting life and employment changes, I can't guarantee I will be as thorough or timely this time as in years past...  but I've already gotten real long-winded with this one anyway.   So onward with our first entry in this year's Reasons to Love and Hate Every NFL Team: AFC East Edition.

Buffalo Bills

Love: Tyrod Taylor Is Fun!

When I did this preview last year, Tyrod Taylor wasn't even on my radar or anyone else's for that matter.  We were all dreading another year of disastrous retreads under center in Buffalo with the likes of Matt Cassel and E.J. Manuel.  But then a perfectly competent and sometimes electrifying ray of hope emerged in the preseason and led the Bills to their most productive season since Drew Bledsoe was still standing over a decade ago.  And he freed up a group of very fast, dynamic receivers with bombs like this while notching over five yards per carry on the ground.  It's still a little early to call Taylor a poor man's Cam Newton yet, but there are plenty of Rams and Eagles fans out there who are wishing their front offices had taken a chance on this formerly unknown Ravens backup instead of overreaching for barely mediocre has-beens and untested rookies.  For once, the quarterback situation looks better than hopeless in western New York!

Hate: Bills Fans Are Kind of a Mess
Depending on your feelings about backyard wrestling and drinking to forget before noon, this could very well be something to love.  But staging a flash mob intervention may not be the worst idea after a year of trainwreck-level tailgating at the Ralph.  There's this lady's modern interpretation of wearing socks with sandals.  And a graveyard of demolished beer pong tables that could have otherwise been reclaimed for some Williamsburg loft apartment.  And lots of sloppy afternoon delight that I just won't link to on this blog.  And that guy who accidentally set himself on fire.  Although every NFL tailgate has its share of unhinged revelers who will never make it to the turnstiles, Bills fans really bring an unparalleled Lord of the Flies element to the party.

Miami Dolphins

Love: Stealing Laremy Tunsil
In a plot point that was thousands of times more interesting and bizarre than anything the league shills dreamed up in Draft Day, left tackle Laremy Tunsil plummeted from a consensus #1 overall pick in the 2016 draft to a gamble with "character issues" for the Dolphins at #13.  Tunsil's problem?  First and foremost, having one helluva frenemy who hacked his Twitter account and aired out his dirty laundry at the worst possible moment.  But secondly - and this was why so many teams in desperate need of a good tackle passed him by - Tunsil was exposed as having smoked pot and accepted money from his coach during his time at Ole Miss.  Although these things don't exactly paint Tunsil as being on the straight and narrow, they are hardly any indication that this guy is destined for off-the-field issues or different from any other college student for that matter.  Considering Miami allowed a bruising 45 sacks last season, good on them for looking past a strange but run-of-the-mill scandal and stealing a pro-ready prospect while everyone else was reaching for their smelling salts.

Hate: That Defense Ain't Looking Any Better
This time last year, I talked about how Ndamukong Suh's giant contract would take a lot of wind out of Miami's sails to plug a lot of other holes on this defense, and well, 2016 isn't looking that much better.  They paid a hefty price to bring in Byron Maxwell, who already proved to be the Ringo of the Legion of Boom when he went to Philadelphia last year.  They're also bringing back Cameron Wake and adding another defensive dinosaur in Mario Williams, who are both past their prime and unlikely to take any double-teams off of that cash cow Suh.  Considering the Dolphins allowed over 375 yards per game in 2015 ("good enough" for 25th in the league), sinking more money and roster space into high-dollar has-beens probably won't make things better in a division with Tom Brady, Brandon Marshall and LeSean McCoy.

New England Patriots

Love: Standing Up for the Working Class... Sort Of
Eighteen months and tons (two? three? seventeen?) of appeals later, Ballghazi is still most definitely a thing.  As it stands, Tom Brady will have to serve a four-game suspension to start the 2016 season after a panel of judges upheld the Ginger Hammer's original ruling, but Brady is appealing yet again.  I'm not sure anyone outside of New England cares what happens one way or another at this point in terms of the suspension itself.  After all, the Patriots somehow won 11 games with Matt Cassel under center and we've been gearing up for Jimmy Garoppolo fever for a year now.  Plus, we'd almost rather gouge our eyes out than watch Skip Bayless debate this crap for one more second of air time. Still, the appeal has pretty significant implications for arbitration and collective bargaining outside of the NFL world - it seeks to answer whether the suits in charge can arbitrate their own disputes with employees rather than having to work through a neutral party.  Right now, the answer is "yes," which means many worker bees don't have any recourse when disputes like these happen in the real world.  It's hard to sympathize with these two highly unlikeable millionaires squaring off on such an inane conflict that revolves around football PSI, but in a way, Tom Brady is sort of standing up for something bigger whether or not that's remotely intentional (it's not).  Weird, huh?

Hate: Again With the Persecution Complex!
Misery has long been the cornerstone of the Boston sports fan identity, and between 1987 and 2000, this would have been a totally valid thing to dwell in - longer even if you were exclusively a Patriots or Red Sox fan.  Sixteen years later with eight championship titles in tow, it's become pretty difficult to wallow with any sincerity in this city, so Bostonians are left to accusing the rest of us of hating them because we ain't them.  It's kind of like when there's that one guy at the bar who really wants to start a fight and gets even more worked up when nobody will provoke him.  I mean, look at this insane (very profane) clip of Ben Affleck and Bill Simmons - the Patron Saints of Manufactured Patriots Persecution - ranting about Deflategate as though it happened yesterday.  They'll have you know that Tom Brady is sketchy simply because he is too classy to sell out his fellow Pats employees... for something that was a totally legitimate non-issue so just stop asking about it, thank you very much.  As gleeful as it was for me as a bystander to watch the Pats upset the Rams' Greatest Show on Turf back in 2001, I'm so, so very ready for them to go back to the woeful days of the early 90s when we could sympathize with Bahston's misguided loyalty and funny accents.

New York Jets

Love: The Defensive Buzzsaw
On one side of the ball at least, the rich got richer at the Meadowlands.  During defensive guru Todd Bowles' first year as a head coach, the Jets had a top five defense in yards allowed, and they punished opposing offenses on the ground and in the air with stars like Muhammad Wilkerson and the ageless Darrelle Revis.  Although their playoff hopes were crushed in typically tragic Week 17 fashion last season, the Jets ended the year on a 5 - 1 run where they held all opponents to 20 points or less except those pesky Bills.  Since then, they've added to their linebacker and defensive back cache in the draft, which is great for a guy like Bowles who developed many defensive superstars from relative unknowns during his time with the Cardinals.  So there's a lot of upside with this defensive squad's talent, coaching acumen, and hot streak extending to last year.  I mean, if the Broncos can win a Super Bowl with a terrifying defense and a quarterback in name only, why can't the Jets take a leap forward too?

Hate: The Fitzmagic Holdout
For all of New York's defensive promise, there are some pretty significant questions to answer on the other side of the ball as of July 5th, 2016.  Last season was the first time in ages that the Jets had all skill positions clicking enough to avoid unraveling their defense's good work.  Aided by Chris Ivory's steady production on the ground, Ryan Fitzpatrick had his best season since he fooled Buffalo into handing over its war chest, connecting early and often with Brandon Marshall and friends.  The Jets offense was even fun to watch sometimes.  But Fitz knows that this front office doesn't have a plan B under center next season, and the front office knows that they don't want to stumble into contractual hell like Buffalo did, so they now find themselves in a standoff where each party knows exactly what needs to happen but can't/won't make it happen.  Maybe they'll come to their senses by training camp since Fitz's phone isn't ringing off the hook, or maybe the Browns will eventually come calling after RG3 goes back to the practice squad.  Either way, this all feels like the inevitable second act falling out that happens in every romantic comedy - will we get a triumphant reunion in the rain to the tune of Adele, or will we get allegations of cheating and arson to the tune of Taylor Swift?  Only time will tell!