Dallas Cowboys
Love - Starting to Feel Sorry For Tony Romo
You really never know about the NFC East these days, but the Cowboys look to be going nowhere fast after an uneventful offseason that sent Demarcus Ware packing and Tony Romo to the operating room. Heck, even Jerry Jones looked the other way when Dallas could have picked up native son Johnny Manziel in the first round of the draft. But I digress. For those who love schadenfreude, the Cowboys have been a delight for nearly two decades - from the Romo fumble heard round the world to many a gut-wrenching 4th quarter interception since that time, only Dallas seems to crumble so often under such a spotlight, always thisclose to a legitimate playoff run. I used to enjoy the Cowboys' failures tremendously, but I've watched Tony Romo give it his all year after year with a seemingly genuine heart, and it's almost like looking at a glassy-eyed puppy in an ASPCA commercial at this point and trying desperately to talk yourself out of adopting that three-legged Beagle even though you have a studio apartment. In sum, it'd be worth cheering for Dallas this year if only for them to win just enough so we could all stop feeling so sorry for Romo and his swiftly closing playoff window. He's just trying, dammit!
Maybe new DC Rob Marinelli will right the ship this season in Dallas given his solid track record with the Bears' defense in recent years. But whereas he had a core of elite linebackers in Chicago, he'll have to turn water into wine with the Cowboys' current roster after the departure of Demarcus Ware and health vulnerabilities with Sean Lee and Anthony Spencer among others. Dallas' D was nothing short of abysmal in 2013, allowing 30 or more points in 7 games and ranking dead last in yards allowed. It's fair to say they have nowhere to go but up this season, but expect baby steps instead of a magic carpet ride given a very tight cap space for adjustments.
Philadelphia Eagles
Love - A Well-Oiled Chip Kelly Machine
It sure didn’t take long for Chip Kelly’s Eagles to get rolling during his debut season as an NFL coach. After a rocky 3 - 5 start, Philadelphia won 7 of their last 8 regular season games and a division title with stellar QB play by Nick Foles and a league-best rushing effort from LeSean McCoy. Adding another offseason to build out Kelly’s intricate, fast-paced system along with Darren Sproles can only mean good things for the Eagles. Especially given the dumpster fire that is all other NFC East defenses.
As refreshing/surprising as the Eagles were in 2013, it still feels too early to say whether or not they're built to last above 0.500. They were 2-3 against teams with winning records last season and had a pretty rough showing against the Saints in the playoffs despite playing host. Philly also let DeSean Jackson walk and went for spare parts on defense in the offseason, which means Chip Kelly will arguably have to do more with less on both sides of the ball. My main question mark, though, is Napoleon Dynamite himself Nick Foles. The young QB had a spectacular sophomore campaign that almost nobody saw coming, but considering how his predecessors Michael Vick and Kevin Kolb fared after similar breakout seasons, I wouldn't count those eggs in the aerie just yet. Foles is a great starter until proven otherwise, but he'll have to prove it against the vaunted defenses of the NFC West this season, just sayin'.
New York Giants
Love - Cyclically, This Is Their Year
There are NFL teams that you can count on to make the playoffs or play divisional bottom feeder every year and then there are the New York Giants. It's a wonder Tom Coughlin hasn't stroked out yet given the annual rollercoaster this team puts him on. So I won't attempt to tell you here why the Giants' wheelings and dealings during the offseason or their schedule or any human interest stories are going to put them at the top or the bottom by January. I'm simply going to remind you that they've won the East every three years for the last decade and 2014 is next up, sure as the Mayans predicted we were toast a couple Decembers ago. Patriots fans can breathe a sigh of relief since the Giants aren't scheduled for another Super Bowl until 2016, but somehow Eli Manning is going to trip and sneeze his way into a solid year like the tide to the moon.
Give the Giants credit - they’ve done a lot in the offseason to shore up their tragic flaws of 2013. Among their notable moves, New York brought in ex-Packers OC Ben McAdoo to shake up playcalling, drafted and signed fresh blood for the offensive line and brought in a slew of cornerbacks after Corey Webster’s departure including Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie. Even with all of this though, the Giants’ Achilles Heel is more like an Achilles “Everything Below the Waist” with no depth in the running game or the pass rush after Justin Tuck went to the left coast. Given all of the transition and a stunningly poor performance in 2013, New York will have to work through painful memories--like starting out 0-6 and Manning’s career-high 27 interceptions--and much more to get back on track this season.
Washington Redskins
Love - Any Chance of an RG3 Comeback
If the Giants had it bad in 2013, the Washington Football Club found themselves about three circles lower after a surprising 2012 playoff campaign. Among the biggest disappointments was Robert Griffin’s sophomore slump; after carving up defenses like a Butterball for most of his rookie year, RG3 was far from healthy or confident in 2013 and didn't get much help from the rest of the team either. So with another offseason to heal, a new coach and the services of DeSean Jackson at his disposal, Griffin's got to be feeling better about this season, at least in a relative sense. Who doesn't want to see his dazzling read-option magic tricks and lasers downfield to Jackson et al? Unless you want Dan Snyder to suffer a humiliating demise of course, which brings me to...
Hate - Dan Snyder's Impenetrable Cocoon of Denial
What can I say about owner Dan Snyder that hasn't already been said here or with much more depth and eloquence elsewhere? He is the worst - a pathetic larval soul shielding himself from any acknowledgement of his own privilege, error, or ability to change - not, I think, because he genuinely believes half the things he says about "Redskins" being an honorable moniker but because he will bury his own PR grave before he admits he is wrong about anything. The guy just hates to lose, except of course for those 11 out of 15 seasons he's owned said Redskins, and all the shadow foundations and embarrassing social media campaigns in the world can't topple the mountain of tone deafness he lives in. In honor of Snyder's many other prominent traits as an owner, I say we call 'em the Washington Racketeers - Bonus: It's almost an anagram so he can also save on lettering costs!
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