Take a deep breath, NFL savants of America (and Russia apparently, by my user stats). We are less than... sigh... four months away from the 2013 regular season. In the meantime, if you're like me you've tried to fill the football-shaped void in your heart with sports that are a bit less oblong, like basketball. It's certainly not a perfect substitute, and that LeBron-ogling NBA officiating crew sure could learn a thing or two from even the lowliest Division II replacement ref. But in case you are desirous of or forced into watching the NBA Playoffs this year, here's a team translation guide in the language of the NFL. Full disclosure: I am a lifelong Memphian and hopped on the Grizzlies bandwagon in 2011 like many a "now-diehard" of the House of Grind.
San Antonio Spurs, the NBA's New England Patriots
Like the Patriots, the Spurs are postseason regulars year-in and year-out led by one of the greatest coaching minds in the game today and veteran star players from Tom Brady and Vince Wilfork to Time Duncan and Tony Parker who've seen every trick in the book. At their best, they play like an extraordinarily confident machine on both sides of the ball. Also like the Pats, the Spurs always seem to bring out the best in a bench of role players that almost never live up to this potential once they are traded elsewhere at maximum value. Bottom line: the seven collective championships these two teams have earned over a decade make the rest of us sick, especially since they're practically senior citizens and still playing out of their minds.
Memphis Grizzlies, the NBA's Baltimore Ravens
I would do no such thing as to jinx the Grizzlies into thinking they could win a national championship this year, but they do have a sleeper quality and strengths profile similar to this year's Ravens. The Grizz have built a winning reputation over the past few years through stout defensive effort, smart playing-to-strengths coaching and veteran team leadership. Marc Gasol and Tony Allen have locker room presence and defensive acumen to parallel that of Ray Lewis and Ed Reed, but the boost for both teams in their respective postseasons has been the emergence of much-needed productivity and consistency on offense in Joe Flacco and Mike Conley. After taking out the high-octane Clippers and Thunder, the Grizzlies still have work to do with a Spurs team that is presently firing on all cylinders, but if Baltimore was able to best Luck, Manning and Brady when the chips were down, who's to say Memphis cannot do the same? Buh-lieve.
Indiana Pacers, the NBA's Houston Texans
In another era, these Pacers and Texans could have a solid shot at a title, or at least an appearance in the Finals/Super Bowl. Indiana sports the league's best defense statistically, and they are getting an elite effort on that side of the ball from Roy Hibbert, who blocks shots like J.J. Watt bats down passes: in his sleep. Unfortunately for the Pacers and Texans, they will continue to be doubted by the Goliath-loving masses until they prove they can generate the kind of offensive firepower of those teams that sit atop the conference totem pole. Even though there is top-notch talent on these rosters from Paul George to Arian Foster, the shadows of the Miami Heat and New England Patriots loom large over their postseason prospects until proven otherwise.
Miami Heat, the NBA's Green Bay Packers
I hate to say I struggled with an analogy for the Heat for a good long while. Are they loaded with an unjust amount of talent for the long haul like the 49ers or Seahawks? Will they win enough championships to be comparable to this decade's Patriots? Will they crash and burn like the fantasy Philadelphia Eagles [answer: no] or put on the sad Manning face if anything goes less than perfect? Hard to say. One thing I know for sure is that this team, while talented/serviceable well into the bench, orbits around the league's undisputed best player, and the Heat [or Packers] offense can knock you out in milliseconds if you let your guard down and succumb to their pace of play. It pains me to contribute even this iota of very obvious praise to the never-ending, generally uninspired media obsession with LeBron James or Aaron Rodgers, but there is no question that these guys transcend any of their teams' shortcomings and most of their opponents' strengths. Just watch them. They give their teams a chance to win every game, and when the NBA Jam ball is on fire, you will not stop them and their freakish powers of prognostication and execution. Also, they're kind of full of themselves, just sayin'.
